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Pearl Jam — Better Man
Album: Vitalogy
Avg rating:
7.5

Your rating:
Total ratings: 1404









Released: 1994
Length: 4:18
Plays (last 30 days): 2
Waitin', watchin' the clock, it's four o' clock, it's got to stop
Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
As he opens the door, she rolls over
Pretends to sleep as he looks her over

She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better man

Ohh...

Talkin' to herself, there's no one else who needs to know
She tells herself, oh...

Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along
Swears she knew it, now she swears he's gone
She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man
She lies and says she still loves him, can't find a better man
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better man

She loved him, yeah, she don't want to leave this way
She needs him, yeah, that's why she'll be back again
Can't find a better man (Can't find a better man)
Can't find a better man (Can't find a better man)
Can't find a better man (Can't find a better man)
Can't find a better...man
Comments (146)add comment
Just my humble opinion but...  Vitalogy is one of the worst albums of the 90's (and that says a lot). I remember all the hype when it came out, but it was a farce.  Go back and listen to it again if it's been a while to see what I mean. Sooooo bad.
 Proclivities wrote:
 bluecshells wrote:
Pearl Jam really made a statement with their CD packaging on this one! 

{#Dance} 


better ham
 
Too Funny! ...........smoke added!
 Mugro wrote:
Shaken_Bake wrote:
That's an interesting take on this song, a "safe choice?" My interpretation is that she settled for shithead because good men are hard to find and some women consider a shithead better than no one at all! It's a tragic song, if you ask me. Doesn't get more Pearl-Jammy than this!
There are a lot of good men "out here" but some women don't know where to look! If you are looking for a "good man" who is also a Heisman trophy winner or U.S. Senator or rich stockbroker, then there may be indeed a shortage. You have to put your priorities straight. Do you want a good man, or a rich man? Good man or a famous man? Good man or a fabulously hansome man? I am married to a wonderful woman who thinks she got a "good man" (sometimes, anyway!), but I was ignored for many years by many of those women seeking "good men".
 
Those damn Chads!
I was at the concert in Padova 6 days ago..... this is my pilgrimage, this is my church, I sing in the choir. 

Can't find a better jam!  {#Bananajam}
 bluecshells wrote:

Pearl Jam really made a statement with their CD packaging on this one!  {#Dance} 


better ham
{#Dancingbanana_2}Best version I've seen of this song was 2015 on David Letterman's second to the last show.  https://youtu.be/hJU6PuaLoNc
Of there was ever a song that makes you feel great about ditching your ex. . . . this is the one
lower case god-like imo  : )

Pearl Jam really made a statement with their CD packaging on this one!  {#Dance}


I remember my wife once told me this was her favourite song. When we were still together. -ish. {#Sad}

 Sloggydog wrote:
Love this song and i can't find my vitamins either
  
Squirts of British humor.

Still dancing ? :)


 romeotuma wrote:


This is another song I ranked a 10 long ago, but I have not commented on it...

this is one of many great songs by Pearl Jam...  love it...  we be dancing...

 




This is another song I ranked a 10 long ago, but I have not commented on it...

this is one of many great songs by Pearl Jam...  love it...  we be dancing...



I was a late comer to Pearl Jam, only falling in love with the album 10 after the whole world was getting tired of it. After that, I kinda dismissed the rest of their output as not being for me. I have no idea what's wrong with me. This is a super track.
 Stingray wrote:
Another "big" US-band that can't (really) move me!
Great voice though, of course!
 
Must be kidding, this is great and yes, his voice is great.

Better Man-New Jersey-13 Oct 2004, Live
dekelforce

Eddie Vedder & Bruce Springsteen singing "Better Man".

 donnyballgame wrote:
I used to call this "Can't you write a better song" in the early 90's. Seems to have held up pretty well over the years. Guess I was wrong back then.
 

No, no you are correct; Pearl Jam are not exactly known for thier songwriter acumen; they had a good album and a sprinkling of decent songs amongst a large sea of excrement. However, this is one of their decent songs and does indeed hold up as you said.{#Yes}
 MojoJojo wrote:
It still amazes me how much the "Into the Wild" soundtrack made me appreciate Pearl Jam. I just really never cared for them before. Go figure.
 
I'm with you on this one. {#Yes}

Another "big" US-band that can't (really) move me!
Great voice though, of course!
Perfect second song after our slow dance to the Beach Boys "You Still Believe in Me" at my wedding.

Slow start with the happy couple, than rock out as everyone joins us.


My friend used to sing...
"Can't find the Butter Man"
Good song but not my favorite PJ.

I always wondered about that curious intro which seemed to hint at the song going in a completely different direction than what it actually did.
I used to call this "Can't you write a better song" in the early 90's. Seems to have held up pretty well over the years. Guess I was wrong back then.
It still amazes me how much the "Into the Wild" soundtrack made me appreciate Pearl Jam. I just really never cared for them before. Go figure.
so far away -> better man ... bill, {#Notworthy}
Love this song and i can't find my vitamins either
 SantaFeGrace wrote:


Personally I find that when a single woman reaches a certain age, it's hard to find a good man that is not married!  {#Frustrated}
 
Good luck!

Being a single man, of a "certain age", I've pretty much given up on finding a "good" woman who's not married.

Some folks don't let that little detail slow them down, though. {#Hug}
I like this song, but my wife doesn't. That's good, right? Hmm.
 SantaFeGrace wrote:


Personally I find that when a single woman reaches a certain age, it's hard to find a good man that is not married!  {#Frustrated}
 
There may be hope - I met my fiance when she was 54, divorced after 30 years.  She found a good one!  {#Hug}
shawshank wrote:
....pass the butter man...


... can't find the butter dish ...

....pass the butter man...
 Papernapkin wrote:
What does it mean? The man's good? None better? Or she'll have to settle because a good man is hard to find?
 

Personally I find that when a single woman reaches a certain age, it's hard to find a good man that is not married!  {#Frustrated}
 junebaby65 wrote:
There's crap on both sides of the fence and women can be just as shallow and selfish as men...

 
More evidence that humans suck.
vitalogy is my favorite PJ album. i enjoy it's dark, melancholy nature.
shakitten wrote:
Yup...I think so, too. :yes:
I have 50 cents here, 25 for each of you to buy a clue.
Saw these guys for the first time last Monday night (on their 2008 summer tour). Incredible show, simply incredible..
archipunk wrote:
I know this is terrible, and I love this song, but I can't help hearing "Can't find the butter, man!" every time I listen to it... :tongue:
That's what I've been singing for years! I'm so glad I'm not the only one. Please pass the toast.
I know this is terrible, and I love this song, but I can't help hearing "Can't find the butter, man!" every time I listen to it... :tongue:
Papernapkin wrote:
What does it mean? The man's good——none better? Or she'll have to settle because a good man is hard to find?
Eddie wrote this song about his mom's relationship with his step-father and it's abusive nature.
9-volt wrote:
Am I just being nostalgic for my college days, or has Pearl Jam really proven to be as timeless as I think they are?
I could just be nostalgic too, but I really believe they'll be remembered in coming days the way Hendrix and Pink Floyd are remembered today. Yes I used them all in the same sentence.
I know Im leavin here a better man For knowin you this way Things I couldnt do before, now I think I can And Im leavin here a better man
Papernapkin wrote:
What does it mean? The man's good——none better? Or she'll have to settle because a good man is hard to find?
I always assumed that based on the lyrics that the woman was settling for a rather shitty guy because she couldn't find a better one. Seems pretty clear from the lyrics.
What does it mean? The man's good? None better? Or she'll have to settle because a good man is hard to find?

Most fun you can have at the charity stripe fully clothed. Queue up this tune and see how many free throws you can make before it ends. Benchmark is 30 or so.
Am I just being nostalgic for my college days, or has Pearl Jam really proven to be as timeless as I think they are?
jarrudy wrote:
this song haunted me in my 20s...sometimes eddie is TOO talented of a writer. :cheers:
This song still haunts me. Too talented, indeed: there are some feelings I'd rather not have. Love this song though.
this song haunted me in my 20s...sometimes eddie is TOO talented of a writer. :cheers:
Find a live cd of theirs and listen to this song, maybe even the MSG DVD, and you will never hear it the same again. When you have 30,000 people singing the opening verse and Eddie waits to take over the second verse, it's an incredible scene and even more remarkable it happens at almost every show. Must be amazing to be in a rock band and have that happen.
maybe some woman just dont know how to be happy... i think its more about personal happiness than the man we have junebaby65 wrote:
I guess I could follow that comment with women disregard men if you're not making 6 figures. There's crap on both sides of the fence and women can be just as shallow and selfish as men...
coffee-eyes wrote:
Words to this song ring true for many women. Maybe that's why, as someone on this board said, women swoon for this song. The lyrics always make me think of my own mother and my stepmother. Both spent years in horrible relationships. And to the guys on the board who can't seem to find any women who aren't looking for an unattainable prince, unfortunately, I find men disregard you if you don't look like a super model. I'm in my 40s, and it's a tough dating world out there!
I guess I could follow that comment with women disregard men if you're not making 6 figures. There's crap on both sides of the fence and women can be just as shallow and selfish as men...
One of my fav all time albums...
auburntigerrich wrote:
Yeah, that's "dyslexic", with a Y. Or is it "lysdexlic"? Classic 90's cornerstone. Most excellent.
:lol: hah!
nate917 wrote:
Only dislexic RP listeners give this dreck a 10. 1.
Yeah, that's "dyslexic", with a Y. Or is it "lysdexlic"? Classic 90's cornerstone. Most excellent.
Gilmour makes an odd segway into vedder, great song though. the album as a whole is better. 7
element1 wrote:
yes i can find a better song too... those would be the 10's. this one is a 9.
Only dislexic RP listeners give this dreck a 10. 1.
really surprised to see but a 7.3 avg. i mean, come one, people, it's classic now. yes i can find a better song too... those would be the 10's. this one is a 9.
bigB_3 wrote:
Remove peanut butter from ears prior to listening... :rolleyes:
I would be HAPPY to if you would please remove the peanut butter from Vedder's mouth as he's singing!
out_to_lunch wrote:
I can find a better song.
Beat me to it. It is easy, sure. But it works.
I can\'t seem to find the Butter Man either! Maybe he went the way of the Milk Man? :dancingbanana_2:
Gema wrote:
Vitalogy is definitely their best album !!!!
Step into my office....
Whirlpool wrote:
Pearl Jam had one really good album. Their first. Everything afterwards was down the slide.
Vitalogy is definitely their best album !!!!
bigB_3 wrote:
Remove peanut butter from ears prior to listening... :rolleyes:
...and insert large, pointy stick for maximum results when using Peal Jam. Rinse, repeat.
I can find a better song.
Words to this song ring true for many women. Maybe that's why, as someone on this board said, women swoon for this song. The lyrics always make me think of my own mother and my stepmother. Both spent years in horrible relationships. And to the guys on the board who can't seem to find any women who aren't looking for an unattainable prince, unfortunately, I find men disregard you if you don't look like a super model. I'm in my 40s, and it's a tough dating world out there!
bigB_3 wrote:
Remove peanut butter from ears prior to listening... :rolleyes:
ditto :yes:
Whirlpool wrote:
Pearl Jam had one really good album. Their first. Everything afterwards was down the slide.
Yup...I think so, too. :yes:
ouch.
Whirlpool wrote:
Pearl Jam had one really good album. Their first. Everything afterwards was down the slide.
Remove peanut butter from ears prior to listening... :rolleyes:
Outstanding. PJ at the top of their game.
Pearl Jam had one really good album. Their first. Everything afterwards was down the slide.
Leetzy wrote:
Why? Why so much Pearl Jam? Please. Stop.
can't find a better song?
Why? Why so much Pearl Jam? Please. Stop.
sarah_mae wrote:
not a good song to listen to while you're over-analyzing your relationship...
Depends. Maybe it's the voice of reason. Yikes, I'm a grim old biddy, ain't I?
Uh-oh. This band, like Iron and Wine, is getting unusually heavy rotation on RP lately. This band, though, has been failing to impress for years and years. With countless genuine gems to choose from by people who can make truly fine music, I don't think it's fair...
not a good song to listen to while you're over-analyzing your relationship...
briandel wrote:
Funny that you mention that. Last time I saw them live, when playing this tune, they segued into Save It for Later. Sounded great. And, since they put all there live stuff out on CD, I have the track. Very cool.
This tune used to piss me off until I learned the band loved Save It For Later and this was an homage to that tune and The Beat.
djblitz wrote:
Joining my list of 10's. The 90's as a teenager, you just HAD to be there for this kind of appreciation.
I agree... you had to be there. Reminds me of my Sr year is HS. Gets at least an 8 from me for that reason alone.
Very unimaginative lyrics, but the crescendo is so great I can't rate it down much for that.
Jack_Jefferson wrote:
I kind of agree with you there. Yes, things get slightly better. But it seems to me that the extreme opposite has happened since turning thirty. The women that you really want to date are holding out for high acheiving sorts. It's not enough to be nice, play by the rules, be resonsible, pay your taxes, etc. You should drive a nice car, live in a nice house, have a job that pays nearly 6 figures. The point is women, and quite a few men, need to quit being so self conscious and learn to meet the opposite camp halfway on a lot of issues. I've had the same job for over 10 years now. While I'm a little sick of my job, the piss poor dating life has been an added incentive for going to graduate school (that and other quality of life issues).
How do you feel about soon-to-be 27 year olds, with 1 young child, who live in WI? :wink: Oh, and this is a great song. :redface: :whistle:
NiceGuy2005 wrote:
Just wait until the women hit 30. That's when they get tired of the "bad boys" who treat them like dirt and decide that nice guys aren't so bad. When I hit 30 my dating calendar filled. Maybe Pearl Jam could do a sequel song about that.
I kind of agree with you there. Yes, things get slightly better. But it seems to me that the extreme opposite has happened since turning thirty. The women that you really want to date are holding out for high acheiving sorts. It's not enough to be nice, play by the rules, be resonsible, pay your taxes, etc. You should drive a nice car, live in a nice house, have a job that pays nearly 6 figures. The point is women, and quite a few men, need to quit being so self conscious and learn to meet the opposite camp halfway on a lot of issues. I've had the same job for over 10 years now. While I'm a little sick of my job, the piss poor dating life has been an added incentive for going to graduate school (that and other quality of life issues).
A friend introduced me to this song. A very special friend. Of course when I hear the song it reminds me of this wonderful person. Therefore a great song!!!!!
djblitz wrote:
Joining my list of 10's. The 90's as a teenager, you just HAD to be there for this kind of appreciation.
Right on! What a great band/album/song!
Joining my list of 10's. The 90's as a teenager, you just HAD to be there for this kind of appreciation.
Can definitly do without this song.
can't find a pair of pants!
Wow. Welcome back to 1994. We've been waiting for you. We know it's been hard.
eddie's songs often take the woman's point of view, which shows the sensitivity that contributes to what makes him such a great songwriter :heartkiss: :sunny: :daisy: :cheers:
"Black" or "Yellow Ledbetter" could lead to a better appreciation of the P.J. :sunny:
Shaken_Bake wrote:
That's an interesting take on this song, a "safe choice?" My interpretation is that she settled for shithead because good men are hard to find and some women consider a shithead better than no one at all! It's a tragic song, if you ask me. Doesn't get more Pearl-Jammy than this!
The way I understand it is that it's about feeling trapped in a less-than-ideal relationship. Physical abuse is an obvious reason to leave, and I would have zero tolerance for it. Verbal abuse, on the other hand, is much more insidious. It can create psychological harm that you might not even be conscious of. The effect could end up being diminished sense of self-worth. Then one may very well feel she "can't find a better man". She'd believe nobody else could possibly want her. Also, it can be very hard to just make a break and walk away because one might feel that there's a lot invested emotionally. One could easily doom oneself to a life of unhappiness this way. It's a very sad song really, but I like it.
Love this song.
Radio Paradise is a place to get away from songs like this. IMO :stop:
Never really listened to this song before. Hope to never really listen to it again. Witless.
chlobug wrote:
Butter man?? I love PJ but cannot stand this song. :cry:
No, "Can't find the butter, man."
mmm, butter. mmm, Vedder.
One of the best Rock 'n Roll voices out there IMHO.
Mugro wrote:
There are a lot of good men "out here" but some women don't know where to look! If you are looking for a "good man" who is also a Heisman trophy winner or U.S. Senator or rich stockbroker, then there may be indeed a shortage. You have to put your priorities straight. Do you want a good man, or a rich man? Good man or a famous man? Good man or a fabulously hansome man? I am married to a wonderful woman who thinks she got a "good man" (sometimes, anyway!), but I was ignored for many years by many of those women seeking "good men".
In all fairness, though, we male-types make our own bad dating choices too - we just don't fall for the "I can change him" trap. We fall for the "omigodshe'ssofreakin'HOT" trap, only to discover (AGAIN) that hot ain't nearly enough. (Unless you have the depth of a mudpuddle - in which case, go nuts, Mr. Libido, keep on ruining it for the rest of us.) That said, I gotta agree with the poster who said that RP is ruining his/her baseless hatred of Pearl Jam.
Xeric wrote:
RP is really screwing up my long-held and utterly baseless hatred of Pearl Jam. . . .
:guitarist: :drummer: :cheers: :nodhead:
So much truth! I know that I'm a good man and a nice guy and my girlfriend of three and a half years who I was three weeks away from proposing to decided I wasn't so great after she started hanging out with younger and singal friends! I guess that @ 28 women just aren't ripe yet and I need to wait another two years! I would still be here if she grew up by then. Until then I'll be stuck in the dating seen where it seems like all the females who know what it is really about are taken. NiceGuy2005 wrote:
Just wait until the women hit 30. That's when they get tired of the "bad boys" who treat them like dirt and decide that nice guys aren't so bad. When I hit 30 my dating calendar filled. Maybe Pearl Jam could do a sequel song about that.
Mugro wrote:
There are a lot of good men "out here" but some women don't know where to look! If you are looking for a "good man" who is also a Heisman trophy winner or U.S. Senator or rich stockbroker, then there may be indeed a shortage. You have to put your priorities straight. Do you want a good man, or a rich man? Good man or a famous man? Good man or a fabulously hansome man? I am married to a wonderful woman who thinks she got a "good man" (sometimes, anyway!), but I was ignored for many years by many of those women seeking "good men".
Just wait until the women hit 30. That's when they get tired of the "bad boys" who treat them like dirt and decide that nice guys aren't so bad. When I hit 30 my dating calendar filled. Maybe Pearl Jam could do a sequel song about that.
i'm always impressed when i remember that ed wrote this song when he was about 15 years old love it l-o-v-e it.
This song is great. I hadn't listened to Pearl Jam in a while, but hearing this song again made me remember why I love their music.
Mugro wrote:
There are a lot of good men "out here" but some women don't know where to look! If you are looking for a "good man" who is also a Heisman trophy winner or U.S. Senator or rich stockbroker, then there may be indeed a shortage. You have to put your priorities straight. Do you want a good man, or a rich man? Good man or a famous man? Good man or a fabulously hansome man? I am married to a wonderful woman who thinks she got a "good man" (sometimes, anyway!), but I was ignored for many years by many of those women seeking "good men".
they probably were looking in bars.:lol: personally i would rather hear "nothing man". it seems to never get played enough.
Shaken_Bake wrote:
That's an interesting take on this song, a "safe choice?" My interpretation is that she settled for shithead because good men are hard to find and some women consider a shithead better than no one at all! It's a tragic song, if you ask me. Doesn't get more Pearl-Jammy than this!
There are a lot of good men "out here" but some women don't know where to look! If you are looking for a "good man" who is also a Heisman trophy winner or U.S. Senator or rich stockbroker, then there may be indeed a shortage. You have to put your priorities straight. Do you want a good man, or a rich man? Good man or a famous man? Good man or a fabulously hansome man? I am married to a wonderful woman who thinks she got a "good man" (sometimes, anyway!), but I was ignored for many years by many of those women seeking "good men".
micman2b wrote:
She dreams of muffins, she dreams of bread, can't find the butter man...
That Vedderpretation joins 'Ethan Frome' (Evenflow) in the PJ Hall of Fame. Decent tune.
RP is really screwing up my long-held and utterly baseless hatred of Pearl Jam. . . .
Geez, all these people saying how much they hate this song so much, and yet it gets a "7" rating. I've always loved it. Play it more!
streetsintherain wrote:
Ah yes...the memories of my childhood.
Yowza, and I bought this record the day it came out. Feeling old I am. Talking like Yoda now I am.
micman2b wrote:
She dreams of muffins, she dreams of bread, can't find the butter man... :) Sean in NC
:clap: So Ed...do you want to be a rock star or not? Can't stand the Vedder man.
Art_Carnage wrote:
Can't find a better song?
Well said, this bites.
Can't find Dave Letter-man. That's 'cause it's 4 am and Dave is over by then.
999_99_999 wrote:
Why does every gurl I know swoon when they hear this song about a woman who settled for the safe choice? Ugh!
That's an interesting take on this song, a "safe choice?" My interpretation is that she settled for shithead because good men are hard to find and some women consider a shithead better than no one at all! It's a tragic song, if you ask me. Doesn't get more Pearl-Jammy than this!
The song has a 7 rating today. Seems like democracy has spoken, and you lost! Mirador wrote:
indeed it sounds real bad. Well if we let democracy in RP, that's it
Can't find a better song?
Yay! Christmas music!
EzRaD wrote:
i second that notion, played out on commercial radio years ago now played out on RP too
indeed it sounds real bad. Well if we let democracy in RP, that's it
Why does every gurl I know swoon when they hear this song about a woman who settled for the safe choice? Ugh!
jalex9 wrote:
Sooo Played. I'd be happy never to hear this tune again...
i second that notion, played out on commercial radio years ago now played out on RP too
She dreams of muffins, she dreams of bread, can't find the butter man... :) Sean in NC
according to eddie, this song is \'bout his father. he hates him...