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Tom Waits — Chocolate Jesus
Album: Mule Variations
Avg rating:
7

Your rating:
Total ratings: 1926









Released: 1999
Length: 3:53
Plays (last 30 days): 1
Well I don't go to church on Sunday
Don't get on my knees to pray
Don't memorize the books of the Bible
I got my own special way
I know Jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more
I fall down on my knees every Sunday
At Zerelda Lee's candy store

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well I don't want no Anna Zabba
Don't want no Almond Joy
There ain't nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well it's the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate Jesus
Can satisfy my soul

When the weather gets rough
And it's whiskey in the shade
It's best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But that's ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel so good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied
Comments (340)add comment
I like the Joe Bonamassa/Beth Hart version best.   
Love the cock in this...
More Rooster!  
 Stephen_Phillips wrote:
Wish I could play harmonica like that on this recording. Almost sounds like a squeaky garden gate sometimes - don't know how it is done but it is certainly right in this context.
 

Maybe this video will help? 
 VV wrote:
...dearrr GOOOOOD maaaaaaaaaaake it STOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP!
 
Try making an offering the true God, PSD (Please Stop Deity)
The Blind Boys of Alabama version gives this song a whole different meaning, if you catch my meaning. 
Part of the appeal of this song for me is that I can recall singing it in Sunday school.... Music is like that.
Some listeners obviously have no sense of humor or appreciation for quirkiness when it comes to Mr. Waits. Their loss.
Not working w the caffeine intake
Jesus!  Chocolate!!!
 hbs47 wrote:
Awful voice and as an extra awful musicianship. I do not "get" this guy.
 
We forgive you.  Three Hail Marys and a chocolate kiss.
Tom is an acquired taste. Went to a TW tribute in a small town venue wondering how they could attract enough people to make it worth while. It was packed, much to my surprise, but an excellent variety of artists doing tributes to his various takents.
Not a fan.
Not a fan. 
 VV wrote:
...dearrr GOOOOOD maaaaaaaaaaake it STOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP!
 
How's it going ... do you have the "no power" God?


 GChevy410 wrote:

You're a f*cking moron.  Quickest way to start a fight/war is to mock somebody's religion.  If you do not believe in anything that is fine, but there is no reason to attack other people's beliefs.  I am normally an objective, rational poster, but seriously f*ck you.

 
You are not an "objective, rational" anything if you have an imaginary friend.

Are you the chicken in the background?
For a version with a very different vibe try the cut by Joe Bonamassa and Beth Hart on Don't Explain. Beth's voice will melt your speakers.
A solid 1 to bring us all back to our senses
Abba Zaba - 2 oz bar - box of 24
Nobody does quirky quite like Tom Waits. 
unusually likeable - totally like Waits himself!
I don't care if it rains or freezes....
 Stefen wrote:
I don't want no Abba Zabba.

 
or no Almond Joy.
Absolute 0 but I can only go as low as 1.
I prefer chocolate Easter bunnies.  Solid, not hollow.  {#Wave}
Oh no... I think the banjos have been drinking this time, no piano.  
"Gospel by Tom Waits"

lol thanks, Bill; needed that
Thank you Tom.  I'm in awe of your greatness.
  molson wrote:
Blech...how does anyone listen to this without cringing? I would rather get a root canal!!

colt4x5 wrote:

That's how I feel about U2, so I know how you feel.
:-) 

 
Dave Mathews for me
I don't want no Abba Zabba.
 molson wrote:
Blech...how does anyone listen to this without cringing? I would rather get a root canal!!

 
That's how I feel about U2, so I know how you feel.
:-) 
 TerryS wrote:
Notice how many young women are affecting the Wait's gravel drawl in everyday speech?

 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsE5mysfZsY


Very cool
Notice how many young women are affecting the Wait's gravel drawl in everyday speech?
I'd worship at this church.
An absolute 10!
Chocolate Godlike
 VV wrote:
...dearrr GOOOOOD maaaaaaaaaaake it STOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP!

 
I couldn't agree more.  While I value Waits as a song writer this is just horrible listening.  Stop the schtick with your voice, dude.
...dearrr GOOOOOD maaaaaaaaaaake it STOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP!
 Hannio wrote:
So I'm thinking we're not going to hear any songs about chocolate Mohammed any time soon.

 
or chocolate Moses
I like the rooster, banjo, harmonica and bass, to bad the voice wasn't mixed out, he sounds like he's thinking "I'll fool 'em on this one"


    Sweet toots rejoice ! We're building a flashmob.
               Jesus !  It is not safe for walk
     So, I saved the work, and you talked the talk.
In matters of opinion, there is no room for debate, we like what we like. Some songs i like, some songs i dont like..
 molson wrote:
Blech...how does anyone listen to this without cringing? I would rather get a root canal!!
 
As you wish; I'll grab the Makita.
Blech...how does anyone listen to this without cringing? I would rather get a root canal!!
Wish I could play harmonica like that on this recording. Almost sounds like a squeaky garden gate sometimes - don't know how it is done but it is certainly right in this context.
So I'm thinking we're not going to hear any songs about chocolate Mohammed any time soon.
 
lol! yeah, we did that one day too

Byronape wrote:
Googled Chocolate Jesus.  I was not disappointed.


 


 upgal wrote:
you think this is good?  go listen to beth hart with joe bonamassa, and you'll never listen to tom waits again!

 
I have to say I find that version to be *horrifically* overblown, but to each their own! :) But you would be listening to Tom Waits, still, because it's his song really on every level.
 upgal wrote:
you think this is good?  go listen to beth hart with joe bonamassa, and you'll never listen to tom waits again!

 
I like their version, but find Tom's much more interesting.
you think this is good?  go listen to beth hart with joe bonamassa, and you'll never listen to tom waits again!
I wonder if the Rooster got paid scale to do this recording.  Without him the song would suffer.
Googled Chocolate Jesus.  I was not disappointed.



{#Whisper} not as good looking as Amy......but it IS his tune.......
 Proclivities wrote:
Another whispery-voiced singer trying to sound like a little girl.

 
That's one strange sounding little girl.
{#Notworthy} ..... outstanding song from a GODLIKE artist
Another whispery-voiced singer trying to sound like a little girl.
 oldfart48 wrote:
ok kids,  who ate it.......{#Eek}..............................................................................{#Whistle}

 
{#Roflol}
One of you shall inhale me: 

chocolate Jesus in gift box



No matter who complains it is worth playing as it will eventually lead to another person discovering TW.     And getting it ,   somewhat.
A pure genius!
One of my favorites.
 ProjectGemini07 wrote:

Me too, enough already.

 
Tom Waits is a genius, but have you heard the Beth Hart/Joe Bonamassa version of this?  I think they realize the full potential of the piece.
Sort of off topic: I love post-Halloween, because I buy lots of chocolate on sale, and it pairs very well with bourbon and Islay Scotch.

So, is that kind of buzz called a 'chocolate Jesus'? 
Awful voice and as an extra awful musicianship. I do not "get" this guy.
 dabeyc wrote:
tired of this song bill, no matter who you play singing it.

 
Me too, enough already.
ok kids,  who ate it.......{#Eek}..............................................................................{#Whistle}
 jocelynsart wrote:
I absolutely despise this guy and the style of music he tends to do but this I like for some reason - guess he must suit this song

 
When I think about the span of Tom Wait's oeuvre, I am hard-pressed to think of a single style. From the early lounge-lizard stuff like "The Heart of Saturday Night" to the whatever the hell "Swordfishtrombones" is to an opera like "The Black Rider" to the rough, stripped-down, percussion-heavy blues rock style (Wikipedia) of "Bone Machine" to the tortured elegance of "Mule Variations" - well, what is Tom's style?
tired of this song bill, no matter who you play singing it.
 jbunniii wrote:
Hard to believe this album is already 13 years old, and yet it also somehow seems timeless. Best Waits album, period.

 
I still have a serious soft spot for Alice.  But either way.  Good stuff.
The rooster ruins it for me. {#Roflol}
Absolutely amazing song. Great atmosphere and raw as ever! Tom Waits is absolutely unique. More so than any other artist {#Yell}

Everybody in my churches loves this delicious song...
 
Brilliant quality song, poetic, profound, and SOULFUL, thank you Radio Paradise. Considering the title and that there is no rating Avatar, rated it Godlike. Sudden craving for some dark chocolate now.

big stud Romeo Tuma wrote:


  

love this song more than whiskey...  amen...
 
Today I love this.

Other days, not so much.

Its just one of them songs.

Never have rated it for this reason.
 {#Yes}madirishman wrote:
Eesh.  Love me RP most of the time, but this will chase me away for a while!  The Waits fans can enjoy, though.

 


Reliably bad. Just not into TW. 
my fave TW song.  You're on a good roll this morning, Bill!  YAY for songs that are "played in the last 30 days: 1"


Everybody in my church loves this song...
 
 johnjconn wrote:
before I die, I gotta go drinking with Tom
I'll buy
 
If he drinks as much as he sounds he does, he'll be in the earth long before you so you'd best get a move on. Waits always sounds to me like that tramp on the park bench cradling a six-pack of Special Brew and smoking Capstan Full Strength unfiltered. A great street poet, but his singing is an acquired taste, right enough. One worth acquiring, maybe, but he's hardly Singalongatom - I personally prefer covers of his work so that I can appreciate the poetry and imagination without feeling as if my ears are being scraped by a cheesegrater.
Love this song.
I absolutely despise this guy and the style of music he tends to do but this I like for some reason - guess he must suit this song
 johnjconn wrote:
before I die, I gotta go drinking with Tom
I'll buy
 
I'll get the second round....fun night, I'm sure

fabulous...
 
Hard to believe this album is already 13 years old, and yet it also somehow seems timeless. Best Waits album, period.
{#Notworthy}
love the rooster
Brilliant - just like this song.

The fold adds something - I think Tom would agree.

Part of great art is a certain element of imperfection.

calypsus_1 wrote:

Tom Waits by ~Cornellian
©2008-2010 ~Cornellian

Holy shit, a drawing. This is in my sketchbook, so I was unfortunate enough to bend this page, the only page I've seemed to screw up. Great.

I need to find my scanner. I also need to do this more often. I'm kind of rusty.

.
 

I wish this would melt already{#Sleep}
Eesh.  Love me RP most of the time, but this will chase me away for a while!  The Waits fans can enjoy, though.
Chocolate Jesus and a Jockey full of Bourbon.............sounds good.





 Decoy wrote:

as always less is more.
 

Except when less is simply less.
 Cynaera wrote:

Oh, honey - not understanding Tom Waits does NOT make you a not-cool person! *hugs you*  Different strokes for different folks.  Um, unless you WANT to be known as a Not Cool Person - we can do that, too. {#Cheers}
 
{#Hug} Hugs back!
I thought this was starting out being "Little Drop of Poison" — haven't heard it before. Like it on first listen!
 slippery wrote:
Wouldn't it be the bees knees if Bill decided to shock us by following this with Chefs "Chocolate salty balls"?
 


Lol! That would be AWESOME!
Amen, brother!

Can I get a Hallelujah?
Wouldn't it be the bees knees if Bill decided to shock us by following this with Chefs "Chocolate salty balls"?
 rtrudeau wrote:
Cementing my status as a Not Cool Person, I just don't get Tom Waits.
 
Oh, honey - not understanding Tom Waits does NOT make you a not-cool person! *hugs you*  Different strokes for different folks.  Um, unless you WANT to be known as a Not Cool Person - we can do that, too. {#Cheers}
I understand now but switching to mute
I wonder who does the rooster in this. He's pretty good.
 Businessgypsy wrote:
Man, I got a thing for minimalist production: nothing to cover up, just bare music.
 
as always less is more.
mediamon wrote:
Mmmmm... Chocolate Jesus.

Sacrilicious...
 
{#Whipit} 
Man, I got a thing for minimalist production: nothing to cover up, just bare music.
Always good to hear
Greatness!
Mmmmm... Chocolate Jesus.

Sacrilicious...
HA!  Tasty number indeed!  Thanks for the laugh, Bill.
This song gotta keep me satisfied...
just gotta listen good
 lerxst wrote:
Jesus, make it stop.  My ears are bleeding, and not in a good way.
 
I concur. However, I wonder how ears might bleed in a good way? {#Ask}
Jesus, make it stop.  My ears are bleeding, and not in a good way.
 peter_james_bond wrote:
Hey, what happened to the Chocolate Jesus? ...{#Shifty}...Gee, I don't know....{#Tongue}......{#Whistle}

 
Exactly!
Exactly! {#Beat}

 segueman wrote:

As a performer he's mesmerizing!
 

I like TW more than most, but couldn't stand his drunken maudlin ramblings the only time I saw him live.

Still listen to the cds tho'
 sirdroseph wrote:
Love the rooster in the background, per usual Waits genius!{#Notworthy}
 
Love this stuff.

Tom Waits by ~Cornellian
©2008-2010 ~Cornellian

Holy shit, a drawing. This is in my sketchbook, so I was unfortunate enough to bend this page, the only page I've seemed to screw up. Great.

I need to find my scanner. I also need to do this more often. I'm kind of rusty.

.
I just joined minutes ago . . . do we have to pay $1.29 per song here?

 
peter_james_bond wrote:
Hey, what happened to the Chocolate Jesus? ...{#Shifty}...Gee, I don't know....{#Tongue}......{#Whistle}

 


AcesUp wrote:

Well, I can assure you that my snake-handling relatives have real chemical changes when they speak of Jesus.

 
pinklife wrote:

Coming from a tent-revival, forehead-anointing, tongue-speaking childhood, I can heartily second that.  The physiological changes in the brain caused by a huge "holy homone" dump when people holy-roll is basically narcotic.  "Opiate of the masses" was not just a clever metephor!

 

That's why the neocon religious zealot types are so happy to imprison people in the absurd "war on drugs." Drug use is not seen as a personal choice or health issue but as a moral failing because users are reaching their altered state with a substance rather than through religion. Unless the substance is pushed by the pharmaceutical companies that donate to the politicians supported by said neocon zealots. Case in point: Rush Limbaugh.
Love the rooster in the background, per usual Waits genius!{#Notworthy}