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Tom Waits — Chocolate Jesus
Album: Mule Variations
Avg rating:
7

Your rating:
Total ratings: 2981









Released: 1999
Length: 3:54
Plays (last 30 days): 2
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Well I don't go to church on Sunday
Don't get on my knees to pray
Don't memorize the books of the Bible
I got my own special way
I know Jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more
I fall down on my knees every Sunday
At Zerelda Lee's candy store

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well I don't want no Abba Zabba
Don't want no Almond Joy
There ain't nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well it's the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate Jesus
Can satisfy my soul

When the weather gets rough
And it's whiskey in the shade
It's best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But that's ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel so good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied
Comments (369)add comment
Beth Hart does a great cover of this quirky classic. 
Posted 3 months ago by DW4554    [ Reply ]

He's got a point. I'm eating chocolate bunnies for Easter. 

Why not a chocolate Jesus for Christmas? 

Sure would taste better than those wafers in the hands of who knows where his fingers have been.
Posted 4 months ago by bufallo    [ Reply ]
if i hear "chocolate jesus" ONE MORE TIME...
Posted 8 months ago by jasonv    [ Reply ]
Very funny!
Posted 11 months ago by renegade_X    [ Reply ]
 Laptopdog wrote:

Some listeners obviously have no sense of humor or appreciation for quirkiness when it comes to Mr. Waits. Their loss.




I Agree completely!   
Posted 1 year ago by joejennings    [ Reply ]
GREAT TUNE!!  Thanx RP!   
Posted 1 year ago by joejennings    [ Reply ]
WWCJD?
Posted 1 year ago by xcranky_yankee    [ Reply ]
Trying to be Robert Johnson without being Robert Johnson
Posted 1 year ago by VV    [ Reply ]
Love those lyrics Mr. Waits
Posted 1 year ago by dgeagon    [ Reply ]
 smartn1 wrote:

It's made from the stuff that is throw out while making chocolate. 
White chocolate is not real chocolate.  


Posted 2 years ago by Jimusics    [ Reply ]
 smartn1 wrote:

Thumbs way up. I don't remember the last time I've heard Tom Waits on the radio. 

I need to buy some chocolate Jesus's for my kids on Easter. I don't know why I can't find any.



Try these...

https://www.cambridgechocolate...
Posted 2 years ago by DaidyBoy    [ Reply ]
If this doesn't make you chuckle at the absurdity that the song captures, you may be wound a bit tight.
Posted 2 years ago by jdhess    [ Reply ]
 bimmerfan739 wrote:

But if I adhered to certain fundamentalist sects wouldn't it have to be a "White Chocolate Jesus?"



White chocolate is not real chocolate.  
Posted 3 years ago by smartn1    [ Reply ]
Thumbs way up. I don't remember the last time I've heard Tom Waits on the radio. 

I need to buy some chocolate Jesus's for my kids on Easter. I don't know why I can't find any.
Posted 3 years ago by smartn1    [ Reply ]
Yes, he's certainly individual; the world is all the better for his creativity.
IMO this is a wonderful album. This track is an easy 8 for me.
Thanks to RP for having is on your play list.
Posted 3 years ago by BuellRider    [ Reply ]
I'm not sure which version I like more; this one or the equally quirky one done by Beth Hart.  Both are outstanding (to me) in their fashion.  

And both are personalities I wouldn't mind sitting between at the local bar.  I suspect it would make for one hell of an evening.  Don't you?  🤣😎😆

Highlow
American Net'Zen
Posted 3 years ago by Highlowsel    [ Reply ]
Tom Waits sings to my heart! one of my favorite albums!
Posted 3 years ago by olea    [ Reply ]
 Jelani wrote:

Don't want no Adam's Apple? Never heard of that one.



No AbbaZabba for you! Nor a Chocolate Jesus
Posted 3 years ago by jpfueler    [ Reply ]
 Isabeau wrote:
More Rooster!  
 
It really makes the song, doesn't it?
Posted 4 years ago by ProjectGemini07    [ Reply ]
This is my favorite Easter song.
Posted 4 years ago by nevar23    [ Reply ]
 wiegandshawn wrote:
Hahahahah
 

Posted 4 years ago by cely    [ Reply ]
Don't want no Adam's Apple? Never heard of that one.
Posted 4 years ago by Jelani    [ Reply ]
The preceding comments regarding barnyard fowl are as good as the song itself. I give a 9 to this song and a 9 to the killer-funny RP posters!
Posted 4 years ago by mattenuttall    [ Reply ]
 Stefen wrote:
I don't want no Abba Zabba.
 
For whoever can update lyrics ... it's not Anna Zabba (sounds like Frank's other daughter?).  The candy is called Abba Zaba, it's historical (I've never seen one), but it sounds kind of yummy if you like that (taffy, peanut butter) sort of thing.
https://www.oldtimecandy.com/p...
Still I, for one, am with Tom Waits, now and forever. it's got to be a chocolate Jesus ... make me feel so good inside... keep me satisfied.
Thank you Bill for keeping the lights on, and candy stocked!! 
Posted 4 years ago by Jad44Paradise    [ Reply ]
But if I adhered to certain fundamentalist sects wouldn't it have to be a "White Chocolate Jesus?"
Posted 4 years ago by bimmerfan739    [ Reply ]
Well dip my cock in chocolate...
Posted 4 years ago by neotrogg    [ Reply ]
The rooster makes some good music, I like it.
Posted 4 years ago by maboleth    [ Reply ]
...The Immaculate Confection!    
Posted 4 years ago by wiegandshawn    [ Reply ]
Who's playing the rooster?
Posted 4 years ago by Queue    [ Reply ]
I like the Joe Bonamassa/Beth Hart version best.   
Posted 5 years ago by diannemck56    [ Reply ]
Love the cock in this...
Posted 5 years ago by ThePoose    [ Reply ]
More Rooster!  
Posted 5 years ago by Isabeau    [ Reply ]
 Stephen_Phillips wrote:
Wish I could play harmonica like that on this recording. Almost sounds like a squeaky garden gate sometimes - don't know how it is done but it is certainly right in this context.
 

Maybe this video will help? 
Posted 5 years ago by ziggytrix    [ Reply ]
 VV wrote:
...dearrr GOOOOOD maaaaaaaaaaake it STOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP!
 
Try making an offering the true God, PSD (Please Stop Deity)
Posted 5 years ago by markybx    [ Reply ]
The Blind Boys of Alabama version gives this song a whole different meaning, if you catch my meaning. 
Posted 5 years ago by dmcanany    [ Reply ]
Part of the appeal of this song for me is that I can recall singing it in Sunday school.... Music is like that.
Posted 5 years ago by mattenuttall    [ Reply ]
Some listeners obviously have no sense of humor or appreciation for quirkiness when it comes to Mr. Waits. Their loss.
Posted 5 years ago by Laptopdog    [ Reply ]
Not working w the caffeine intake
Posted 5 years ago by chuck.b.meyers    [ Reply ]
Jesus!  Chocolate!!!
Posted 5 years ago by bruceandjenna    [ Reply ]
 hbs47 wrote:
Awful voice and as an extra awful musicianship. I do not "get" this guy.
 
We forgive you.  Three Hail Marys and a chocolate kiss.
Posted 5 years ago by bruceandjenna    [ Reply ]
Tom is an acquired taste. Went to a TW tribute in a small town venue wondering how they could attract enough people to make it worth while. It was packed, much to my surprise, but an excellent variety of artists doing tributes to his various talents.
Posted 5 years ago by Canadese    [ Reply ]
Not a fan.
Posted 5 years ago by horstman    [ Reply ]
Not a fan. 
Posted 5 years ago by PT-NOMORE    [ Reply ]
 VV wrote:
...dearrr GOOOOOD maaaaaaaaaaake it STOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP!
 
How's it going ... do you have the "no power, no money" God?
Posted 6 years ago by radioparadise9    [ Reply ]
 GChevy410 wrote:

You're a f*cking moron.  Quickest way to start a fight/war is to mock somebody's religion.  If you do not believe in anything that is fine, but there is no reason to attack other people's beliefs.  I am normally an objective, rational poster, but seriously f*ck you.

 
You are not an "objective, rational" anything if you have an imaginary friend.

Are you the chicken in the background?
Posted 6 years ago by radioparadise9    [ Reply ]
For a version with a very different vibe try the cut by Joe Bonamassa and Beth Hart on Don't Explain. Beth's voice will melt your speakers.
Posted 6 years ago by Niel    [ Reply ]
A solid 1 to bring us all back to our senses
Posted 6 years ago by rage    [ Reply ]
Abba Zaba - 2 oz bar - box of 24
Posted 6 years ago by jrozzelle    [ Reply ]
Nobody does quirky quite like Tom Waits. 
Posted 6 years ago by Laptopdog    [ Reply ]
unusually likeable - totally like Waits himself!
Posted 6 years ago by pswiebs    [ Reply ]
I don't care if it rains or freezes....
Posted 6 years ago by LPCity    [ Reply ]
 Stefen wrote:
I don't want no Abba Zabba.

 
or no Almond Joy.
Posted 6 years ago by the_jake    [ Reply ]
Absolute 0 but I can only go as low as 1.
Posted 6 years ago by hbs47    [ Reply ]
I prefer chocolate Easter bunnies.  Solid, not hollow.  {#Wave}
Posted 7 years ago by skooba    [ Reply ]
Oh no... I think the banjos have been drinking this time, no piano.  
Posted 7 years ago by idiot_wind    [ Reply ]
"Gospel by Tom Waits"

lol thanks, Bill; needed that
Posted 7 years ago by DigitalJer    [ Reply ]
Thank you Tom.  I'm in awe of your greatness.
Posted 8 years ago by garyalex    [ Reply ]
  molson wrote:
Blech...how does anyone listen to this without cringing? I would rather get a root canal!!

colt4x5 wrote:

That's how I feel about U2, so I know how you feel.
:-) 

 
Dave Mathews for me
Posted 8 years ago by jbuhl    [ Reply ]
I don't want no Abba Zabba.
Posted 8 years ago by Stefen    [ Reply ]
 molson wrote:
Blech...how does anyone listen to this without cringing? I would rather get a root canal!!

 
That's how I feel about U2, so I know how you feel.
:-) 
Posted 8 years ago by colt4x5    [ Reply ]
 TerryS wrote:
Notice how many young women are affecting the Wait's gravel drawl in everyday speech?

 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsE5mysfZsY


Posted 8 years ago by sajitjacob    [ Reply ]
Very cool
Posted 8 years ago by Hawk0248    [ Reply ]
Notice how many young women are affecting the Wait's gravel drawl in everyday speech?
Posted 8 years ago by TerryS    [ Reply ]
I'd worship at this church.
Posted 8 years ago by Grammarcop    [ Reply ]
An absolute 10!
Posted 8 years ago by rob_m    [ Reply ]
Chocolate Godlike
Posted 8 years ago by hayduke2    [ Reply ]
 VV wrote:
...dearrr GOOOOOD maaaaaaaaaaake it STOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP!

 
I couldn't agree more.  While I value Waits as a song writer this is just horrible listening.  Stop the schtick with your voice, dude.
Posted 8 years ago by pigtail    [ Reply ]
...dearrr GOOOOOD maaaaaaaaaaake it STOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP!
Posted 8 years ago by VV    [ Reply ]
 Hannio wrote:
So I'm thinking we're not going to hear any songs about chocolate Mohammed any time soon.

 
or chocolate Moses
Posted 8 years ago by Skydog    [ Reply ]
I like the rooster, banjo, harmonica and bass, to bad the voice wasn't mixed out, he sounds like he's thinking "I'll fool 'em on this one"
Posted 8 years ago by Skydog    [ Reply ]


    Sweet toots rejoice ! We're building a flashmob.
               Jesus !  It is not safe for walk
     So, I saved the work, and you talked the talk.
Posted 8 years ago by twoplain2sea    [ Reply ]
In matters of opinion, there is no room for debate, we like what we like. Some songs i like, some songs i dont like..
Posted 8 years ago by MrCreepy    [ Reply ]
 molson wrote:
Blech...how does anyone listen to this without cringing? I would rather get a root canal!!
 
As you wish; I'll grab the Makita.
Posted 8 years ago by On_The_Beach    [ Reply ]
Blech...how does anyone listen to this without cringing? I would rather get a root canal!!
Posted 8 years ago by molson    [ Reply ]
Wish I could play harmonica like that on this recording. Almost sounds like a squeaky garden gate sometimes - don't know how it is done but it is certainly right in this context.
Posted 9 years ago by Stephen_Phillips    [ Reply ]
So I'm thinking we're not going to hear any songs about chocolate Mohammed any time soon.
Posted 9 years ago by Hannio    [ Reply ]
 
lol! yeah, we did that one day too

Byronape wrote:
Googled Chocolate Jesus.  I was not disappointed.


 


Posted 9 years ago by jocelynsart    [ Reply ]
 upgal wrote:
you think this is good?  go listen to beth hart with joe bonamassa, and you'll never listen to tom waits again!

 
I have to say I find that version to be *horrifically* overblown, but to each their own! :) But you would be listening to Tom Waits, still, because it's his song really on every level.
Posted 9 years ago by michaelkh    [ Reply ]
 upgal wrote:
you think this is good?  go listen to beth hart with joe bonamassa, and you'll never listen to tom waits again!

 
I like their version, but find Tom's much more interesting.
Posted 9 years ago by chyk5    [ Reply ]
you think this is good?  go listen to beth hart with joe bonamassa, and you'll never listen to tom waits again!
Posted 9 years ago by upgal    [ Reply ]
I wonder if the Rooster got paid scale to do this recording.  Without him the song would suffer.
Posted 10 years ago by jgriffin56    [ Reply ]
Googled Chocolate Jesus.  I was not disappointed.



Posted 10 years ago by Byronape    [ Reply ]
{#Whisper} not as good looking as Amy......but it IS his tune.......
Posted 10 years ago by oldfart48    [ Reply ]
 Proclivities wrote:
Another whispery-voiced singer trying to sound like a little girl.

 
That's one strange sounding little girl.
Posted 10 years ago by musikluvr    [ Reply ]
{#Notworthy} ..... outstanding song from a GODLIKE artist
Posted 10 years ago by Peter_Bradshaw    [ Reply ]
Another whispery-voiced singer trying to sound like a little girl.
Posted 10 years ago by Proclivities    [ Reply ]
 oldfart48 wrote:
ok kids,  who ate it.......{#Eek}..............................................................................{#Whistle}

 
{#Roflol}
One of you shall inhale me: 

chocolate Jesus in gift box



Posted 10 years ago by kcar    [ Reply ]
No matter who complains it is worth playing as it will eventually lead to another person discovering TW.     And getting it ,   somewhat.
Posted 10 years ago by ccjemmett    [ Reply ]
A pure genius!
Posted 10 years ago by Ptijoc    [ Reply ]
One of my favorites.
Posted 10 years ago by casey1024    [ Reply ]
 ProjectGemini07 wrote:

Me too, enough already.

 
Tom Waits is a genius, but have you heard the Beth Hart/Joe Bonamassa version of this?  I think they realize the full potential of the piece.
Posted 10 years ago by henryisland    [ Reply ]
Sort of off topic: I love post-Halloween, because I buy lots of chocolate on sale, and it pairs very well with bourbon and Islay Scotch.

So, is that kind of buzz called a 'chocolate Jesus'? 
Posted 10 years ago by unclehud    [ Reply ]
Awful voice and as an extra awful musicianship. I do not "get" this guy.
Posted 10 years ago by hbs47    [ Reply ]
 dabeyc wrote:
tired of this song bill, no matter who you play singing it.

 
Me too, enough already.
Posted 11 years ago by ProjectGemini07    [ Reply ]
ok kids,  who ate it.......{#Eek}..............................................................................{#Whistle}
Posted 11 years ago by oldfart48    [ Reply ]
 jocelynsart wrote:
I absolutely despise this guy and the style of music he tends to do but this I like for some reason - guess he must suit this song

 
When I think about the span of Tom Wait's oeuvre, I am hard-pressed to think of a single style. From the early lounge-lizard stuff like "The Heart of Saturday Night" to the whatever the hell "Swordfishtrombones" is to an opera like "The Black Rider" to the rough, stripped-down, percussion-heavy blues rock style (Wikipedia) of "Bone Machine" to the tortured elegance of "Mule Variations" - well, what is Tom's style?
Posted 11 years ago by Megavolt    [ Reply ]
tired of this song bill, no matter who you play singing it.
Posted 11 years ago by dabeyc    [ Reply ]
 jbunniii wrote:
Hard to believe this album is already 13 years old, and yet it also somehow seems timeless. Best Waits album, period.

 
I still have a serious soft spot for Alice.  But either way.  Good stuff.
Posted 11 years ago by ritingon    [ Reply ]
The rooster ruins it for me. {#Roflol}
Posted 11 years ago by Webfoot    [ Reply ]
Absolutely amazing song. Great atmosphere and raw as ever! Tom Waits is absolutely unique. More so than any other artist {#Yell}
Posted 11 years ago by Thijs    [ Reply ]

Everybody in my churches loves this delicious song...
 
Posted 11 years ago by Lazarus    [ Reply ]
Brilliant quality song, poetic, profound, and SOULFUL, thank you Radio Paradise. Considering the title and that there is no rating Avatar, rated it Godlike. Sudden craving for some dark chocolate now.
Posted 11 years ago by kdarwish    [ Reply ]

big stud Romeo Tuma wrote:


  

love this song more than whiskey...  amen...
 
Posted 11 years ago by Lazarus    [ Reply ]
Today I love this.

Other days, not so much.

Its just one of them songs.

Never have rated it for this reason.
Posted 11 years ago by kurtster    [ Reply ]
 {#Yes}madirishman wrote:
Eesh.  Love me RP most of the time, but this will chase me away for a while!  The Waits fans can enjoy, though.

 


Posted 11 years ago by 1wolfy    [ Reply ]
Reliably bad. Just not into TW. 
Posted 11 years ago by ziakut    [ Reply ]
my fave TW song.  You're on a good roll this morning, Bill!  YAY for songs that are "played in the last 30 days: 1"
Posted 11 years ago by CrackerjaxATX    [ Reply ]

Posted 11 years ago by zepher    [ Reply ]

Everybody in my church loves this song...
 
Posted 11 years ago by Lazarus    [ Reply ]
 johnjconn wrote:
before I die, I gotta go drinking with Tom
I'll buy
 
If he drinks as much as he sounds he does, he'll be in the earth long before you so you'd best get a move on. Waits always sounds to me like that tramp on the park bench cradling a six-pack of Special Brew and smoking Capstan Full Strength unfiltered. A great street poet, but his singing is an acquired taste, right enough. One worth acquiring, maybe, but he's hardly Singalongatom - I personally prefer covers of his work so that I can appreciate the poetry and imagination without feeling as if my ears are being scraped by a cheesegrater.
Posted 11 years ago by fredriley    [ Reply ]
Love this song.
Posted 11 years ago by enordberg    [ Reply ]
I absolutely despise this guy and the style of music he tends to do but this I like for some reason - guess he must suit this song
Posted 11 years ago by jocelynsart    [ Reply ]
 johnjconn wrote:
before I die, I gotta go drinking with Tom
I'll buy
 
I'll get the second round....fun night, I'm sure
Posted 12 years ago by oldsaxon    [ Reply ]
Hard to believe this album is already 13 years old, and yet it also somehow seems timeless. Best Waits album, period.
Posted 12 years ago by jbunniii    [ Reply ]
{#Notworthy}
Posted 12 years ago by bluecshells    [ Reply ]
love the rooster
Posted 12 years ago by coy    [ Reply ]
Brilliant - just like this song.

The fold adds something - I think Tom would agree.

Part of great art is a certain element of imperfection.

calypsus_1 wrote:

Tom Waits by ~Cornellian
©2008-2010 ~Cornellian

Holy shit, a drawing. This is in my sketchbook, so I was unfortunate enough to bend this page, the only page I've seemed to screw up. Great.

I need to find my scanner. I also need to do this more often. I'm kind of rusty.

.
 

Posted 12 years ago by grant    [ Reply ]
I wish this would melt already{#Sleep}
Posted 12 years ago by BLADERUNNER    [ Reply ]
Eesh.  Love me RP most of the time, but this will chase me away for a while!  The Waits fans can enjoy, though.
Posted 12 years ago by madirishman    [ Reply ]
Chocolate Jesus and a Jockey full of Bourbon.............sounds good.
Posted 12 years ago by TerryS    [ Reply ]