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David Wilcox — Johnny's Camaro
Album: East Asheville Hardware
Avg rating:
3.3

Your rating:
Total ratings: 569









Released: 1996
Length: 8:52
Plays (last 30 days): 0
This is the story she told...

"Can I have another quarter?" he said.
"What?"
"Can I have another quarter?"
"Why?" she said.
"Uh, I dropped it," he said.
"Sure," she said, and she handed him another quarter.
And he reached out of the window there, and dropped it in the toll basket.
Up comes the gate, and out comes...

Johnny's camero, Johnny's camero
Johnny loved his camero, maybe more than life itself.

Oh it was no big deal, he was just taking her to the airport.
It was autumn in New York City,
there was a wind a lot like this.
It was springtime however, in Africa.
She'd been saving up her money.
She was going to go on one of these outward bound trips,
so he was just giving her a ride to the airport.
And around and around the airport they went,
through that parking garage, looking for a parking space.
"There's one," she said.
"No."
"There's one," she said.
"No."
You see, actually it takes two parking spaces...

for Johnny's camero, Johnny's camero

He's a little nervous walking through the airport.
He's always looking back over his shoulder.
"You can go back if you want," she said.
"No, no man, I'll stay."
And he did. He stayed until the plane took off.
Then he ran back.
But meanwhile, she was high up over the city.
She was looking down.
She was looking down at the lights of the buildings.
She was looking down at the lights of the boats on the water.
She was looking down at the lights.
You could see them crossing the bridges,
and through the little canyon streets.
Little tiny, diamond toward you and ruby away.
You know, those little tiny moving lights.
And she knew that one of them was... well you know.

Man, I've got to tell you about the adventure she had in Africa.
I think I should start with the silver bracelet,
I think that's where it all turns around.
She hadn't been on the trip long and one of the guides sort of
took her under his wing.
'Cause she was sort of startled easy,
she was a little nervous about being out there.
The first time she got sunburned through her hat
she realized she was a long way from being home.
She had just left the group for a little while one day,
she had just went to take a pee,
she said "I'll be right back," but she didn't come back for awhile.
And this guide, this African man went to look for her.
"Laura! Laura?"
He found her standing on the lowest branch of a fairly tall tree,
way off the ground."
"How you get up there?"
Well she had jumped.
"Why?"
Well there was a hyena, and they had told her about hyenas.
They have jaws that can crush bone.
She wasn't in a really confident position anyway,
and she just ran, and there was the branch.
She jumped - one hand slipped, one hand held.
She was not coming down.
"He's gone."
So now she trusted him, and she swings back down
and both arms straight, hanging from that branch,
her feet are four feet off the ground.
Man, she didn't know she could jump that high.
Ah, but she does now.

It was changes like that that made him give her that silver bracelet.
It was the one that he'd always wear kind of between his elbow
and his shoulder, kind of wrapped tight around his arm.
It was a beautiful silver bracelet, and he bent it down to fit around
her muscle there and she smiled.
So much so that it startled him.
So much so that on the last day of that trip, when they were getting
back on the bus to go to the small airport to go to the big airport
to go across the ocean to go back to... you know,
when they were getting back on the bus and she leaned out the window
for that last little cheesecake snapshot
and as he looked through the camera, he had to slowly take the camera
down, and turn his head to the side a little bit, look a little bit
sad and say
"How you get up there?"

She was dreaming over the ocean
Dreaming of being home again
Dreaming over the ocean
Of what would never be the same.

Well he wasn't at the gate when she got into the airport.
He must have been looking for a parking space.
So she just walked through the airport, you know,
and it wasn't like before.
Now the airport seemed kind of small.
The airport seemed kind of stuffy, ceiling was a little bit low.
And everyone was getting out of her way.
I don't know - well, actually I do know.
Maybe it was because it had been winter, you see,
and she had just come back from summer.
And she was just dressed normally. Everyone else was bundled up,
but she had on her hiking boots and shorts and tank top,
hair tied back, and a knife on her belt, and a big old silver bracelet,
I think it was the silver bracelet,
but everybody was getting out of her way.
She didn't see him 'til the backpack comes rolling down the
old baggage claim, and suddenly there's this arm
and this voice saying, "I'll get that."
And she says, "Hey, that's my backpack, gimme it. Where you parked?"
So he reluctantly gave her the backpack,
and she swung it over her shoulder
and they went out and carefully nestled it in the trunk

And then, out of the parking garage and into the city.
And she had to lean out the window,
she pushed the button and made the window go down
and she leaned out a little bit to feel the wind in her hair.
Man, this is the wild place to be.
I mean, this is the place,
she has to lean a little further out of the car just to
just to see it all, just to look up at some of the buildings.
As a matter of fact, she leaned a little farther back
so she could look back behind
and watch those big tires rolling on that pavement,
and then suddenly the window came back up
and she comes back in, startled
and sure enough Johnny's got his finger on the power...
...the power... the power window.
And he's looking at her like,
"Will you get your feet off the upholstery!"
The upholstery, the upholstery. She forgot. How could she forget?
Well, she'd been in Africa, come on.
She took her feet off the upholstery.
As a matter of fact, she took her feet off the upholstery politely.
As a matter of fact, she folded her hands in her lap
and she settled in for this ride.
I saw just a glint of a smile as she turned her face to one side.
Maybe to feel the plush upholstery brush against her cheek.
Maybe to see the lights of the graphic equalizer on the stereo
reflected in the side window.
Maybe to watch that lone drop of water make its weary way across
that perfectly waxed surface.
But I think it was just to enjoy this ride...
this ride...
this last ride...

in Johnny's camero, Johnny's camero.
Comments (147)add comment
I came to Kenya in 1969. For six months.  Still here.
Before anyone comes to visit me, I usually offer this disclaimer:
Somehow it will change your life.  
How? 
Don't know, but it will. Always does.
Maybe a little.  Maybe a lot.
Maybe just the way you think about things.
In 1993 Karen came to Kenya.
On a business trip with her boss, a close friend from the 70s.
We just had our 30th Anniversary
Our two daughters have partners and give medical assistance to people and animals.
No Hyenas, but this Wild Dog at the London Zoo needed an Ultrasound.
Africa will always be in us.
I have to say, at a 3.2 rating, this is the lowest ranked song I've ever heard in the RP Main Mix (regular rotation).
ugh! ugh! UGH!!! MAKE. IT. STOP!!!

This is the stuff for which "PSD" was made. Please&thankyou!

Maybe if is wasn't so effing long it wouldn't be a 1
When people complain about too much Tori Amos, Peter Garbriel, Neil Young, Peter Garbriel and David Byrne - this is what you get.  
This and Alice's Restaurant :) I don't want to hear them too often, but once in a while. Not deserving a PSD, but not bad either.
Mediocrity drooling all over itself 🤢
I need a rating selection lower than 1 for this 
There wasn't a zero, so I was compelled to give it a one.
I don't know...this is kinda hilarious and entertaining.  Is it a great "song"? No, but it makes me giggle. 
Camaro people were bad. Corvette people were even worse.
Involuntary like on this one.
Never heard this before, and, baby!, have I been missing something great!  Voted it at 8, but maybe it should be higher?

Just a note:  The muscle car automobile manufactured by Chevrolet is spelled Camaro.  Got it right in the title, but not in the lyrics.  Ironically, I think Mr Wilcox has the Camaro owner's personality spelled quite accurately.

Sincerely,
unclehud (my "asshole" personality)
I believe in the service RP does to us all, and wish to emphasize that positive reaction, overall, first. That said, not until this instant have I been moved to create an account, thus permitting the commenting functions, despite having been greatly entertained by the to-and-fro commentary offered up in that forum. Yet, despite the great service RP does, delivering great mixes of great music … this … is not a worthy addition to any imagined mix, not even a deliberately bad mix of misbegotten bar guitar acts. Awkward, trying to clue someone in that they need to try something else. As a profession.
Well. I had to listen to it all being the first time. Just curiosity.  As someone stated, it's probably good live.
I'll go to my Favourites next time.
David Wilcox is an old, guilty pleasure.  His other recorded stuff is also worthy of a visit.  Sweet 80s singer-songwriter music.  

Never heard this particular live piece before, but did spend a couple years in Africa & can appreciate the changed person. It's a winding story line, for sure, but it's a long journey, no?
Funny. Hilarious in a couple of spots.   

Bet you it is even better live.
It goes on... and on... and on...
How can I make it stop?
Wondering why this "song" is still in rotation given the rating. Sucko-barfo. 
This is the first time I have ever used the 'skip' function on RP.
Should followup with Dead Milkmen - Bitchin Camero... 
Is this the lowest rated song on RP?  Even Gogol and Dengue rate much higher making them seem Top 40-ish in comparison.

RP rules......long live RP !!!!!
 bruceandjenna wrote:
Eclectic RP.  Not every song needs drum rolls and bass guitar

Pleasant, engaging, kept my attention.

7.
 
 Similar here, though I'll go with a 6 so it's not in my PSD favorites;  Long Live RP!!
Eclectic RP.  Not every song needs drum rolls and bass guitar

Pleasant, engaging, kept my attention.

7.
I enjoy a good musical story teller and am pleased to be introduced to *this* David Wilcox. I was a little taken aback when I saw the name, thinking I'd missed a side of Canada's manic guitar slinger... sure ain't the Hypnotizing Boogie.
Johnny needs to learn how to spell Camaro.
PSD-eed 'Tom McRae — End of the World News', and got this.
Goodnight.
I kept waiting and waiting for the chorus, "You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant."
Of all the Dave Wilcox songs to play on RP, you all chose this one? 
It tastes like burning.{#Frustrated}
Are you kidding? I loved it!
Never ever wanted to fast forward that badly.
I have always believed in the philosophy of, "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all."  But, this "song" has inspired me to make an exception.
I just knocked it down to 3, deservedly. It's not a song, but a sorry story.
Seen him in concert many, many times here in Colorado, also singing this very song.
David composes tunes by tweaking the strings way all over, finds a new key, and writes a song in there.
Waiting for him to re-tune for almost every song is worth it..may not be your thing on RP, but seeing him in concert is incredible.
Most hilarious song: Blow 'em Away
Most inspiring: Show the Way
Thanks, Bill!
Fun song. Nice tale. Not a frequently played type, but something to enjoy like a tasty treat or old friend that you have little in common with anymore. Still a good tale and maybe a lesson of what could happen to any of us.   It's a 7 for me. May change next time I hear it.
Previously unreleased? Imagine that.

If Bill doesn't follow it up with Bitchin' Camaro he's totally.... ah, Pete Yorn. Nevermind.
Wow. That was painful.
 daveesh wrote:
the third play in nearly eight years is still too much.

 
AGREE! Yuck.
So different from every song on How did You Find Me Here circa 1989' that is one of my all time favorites.  I am now so confused I may just have to go drive a Mustang to cleanse this Johnny's Camaro from my mind!!!!!!
Not sure I've ever commented on a song before, but this is really terrible.  Sucko-barfo, indeed.
Is there a lower rated song on RP?

This guy should go back to his day job as an architect!
now if you were to follow this up with "bitchin camaro," then maybe you'd be onto something.
Wow this has a lower rating than that horrible Tame Impala song, which I thought was the lowest I'd seen on RP. I dislike both of songs, but at least this one is a bit easier to ignore.
Please destroy this "music" and NEVER play it again in the history of the world? How many negative comments does it take before you stop playing your brother-in-law's attempt at being a singer?
How? How can anyone give this a 10?
I personally don't give ANY song a 10, as the category is absurd.
But even a 9, or an 8, even a 7... for THIS song?
Really?
I'm of the impression that some people just press the 10 button if they find a song to be pleasing. All they know is 1 and 10. 
MAKE IT STOP!!!
Ok... too long now 2 ==> 1 . Last play 26th april 2009 .. could have stayed this way!
the third play in nearly eight years is still too much.
Despite the sweet mullet of the singer, this song is horrendous.

Worst still, Bill seems to have deactivated the "PSD" button so I'll be forced to "Stop" streaming for several minutes. Bummer.
sucko-barfo.  yep, that pretty much sums this one up.  this isn't music, it's comedy...and pretty bad comedy at that.
Sounds a bit like tenacious D but this "song" isn't really interesting if you don't get the lyrics straight.. (which is my case)
 daveesh wrote:
bitchin' camaro!
bitchin' camaro!
donuts on the lawn!
bitchin' camaro!
bitchin' camaro!
tony orlando and dawn!
 
Oh, man, that was the ultimate party song when it was current - haven't thought of that in ages.
Was sad 20 seconds in when I realized it wasn't Tenacious D.
Pfff - don't listen to the haters, Bill.  This song is funny and an enjoyable change of pace.  Love it!
 keller1 wrote:

Didn't hear the tune but it must be a real stinker.

Ironically, I just got back from a jam where Wilcox's Hypnotizin Boogie nearly took the roof off the dump.  Go figure.


 
Same name, but this is a different David Wilcox.

Didn't hear the tune but it must be a real stinker.

Ironically, I just got back from a jam where Wilcox's Hypnotizin Boogie nearly took the roof off the dump.  Go figure.


I think the fact that the average is even lower the some of the Dengue Fever tracks, and by a large margin, says alot.
I guess if we don't have to hear it more than once a year or so, we'll survive.
49% of ratings are a "1".  Almost 70% are 3 or lower. That has to be some kind of record.

RadioDoc wrote:
Gone for two weeks and this is one of the first things I hear on RP when I return. Yikes. 2


similar here. just found out that the norwegian broadcasting corporation has some nice online radio channels (https://www.nrk.no/radio/), and when I return to RP this crap is on. back to norway then ...

{#Wall}ARGH. My ears are aching. STOP.
 On_The_Beach wrote:
Wow! A 3.2 average! Is this the lowest-rated song on RP?
What a distinction.
 
I just dropped it to 3.1

 sunny_day wrote:

You are not lucky then!

 
I always take the back door of the building to avoid him. Songs like this have a nasty habit of sticking in my head all day.

GET TO THE POINT!!! And cut off that MULLET!

stop it. please ? please !!

Gone for two weeks and this is one of the first things I hear on RP when I return.  Yikes.  2
Un-PC on so many, many levels. {#No}
 YourNameHere wrote:
Generally I won't give a song a low number because some stuff just ain't my cup of tea... but, this sucks. Waaaaaay too much talking and not that engaging of a tune to begin with. I'd buy a hoodie just to get this taken off the play list. 2 (I'm leaving room for a 1 just in case there's a worse song on the RP shelf.)
 
My sentiments exactly!! And buy the hoodie, ok?

I can't hear myself think while this guy's babbling.
 OldFrenchie wrote:
I'm 98% certain this guy busks for loonies on the street outside my office.
 
You are not lucky then!

Wow! A 3.2 average! Is this the lowest-rated song on RP?
What a distinction.
I'm 98% certain this guy busks for loonies on the street outside my office.
I wonder if those who find so much fun trashing this song are the type who love "Bright Eyes" because he's so "original"...
Terrible. Seems to last forever. No more please.
Sure thing Bill- 7 is the best I can do though. Now his Hurricane song, that's another story.
Generally I won't give a song a low number because some stuff just ain't my cup of tea... but, this sucks. Waaaaaay too much talking and not that engaging of a tune to begin with. I'd buy a hoodie just to get this taken off the play list. 2 (I'm leaving room for a 1 just in case there's a worse song on the RP shelf.)
OK, but I prefer Harry Chapin.
My mother bought this CD right before she left for a trip to Africa (she ran in the Master's race there.) She met boutique owner that sold clothing, jewelry, souveniers, etc. Mom asked the woman that owned the boutique if she had a silver armband, and told the "Johnny's Camaro" story. The boutique owner loved the story, and went into her private collection and found two bracelets. These bracelets are worn by tribal warriors, and she proceeded to give Mom both. When she got back to the States, we put them on and sent the boutique owner a picture and a copy of the CD. They still coorespond. Small world.
This sux...In terms of incoherent rants, I've heard more interesting stuff from the crazy guy that sits outside the entrance to my metro station.
WOW! This song would be what is playing in hell 24-7. Way too long. The Dialogue is extremely boring and not witty at all. I hate writing reviews like this but this song is just terrible.
Rod wrote:
Funny. It never dawns on me to go in and trash songs I don't like. I just turn the volume down.
So does that mean you don't rate them either?!
Lot about DW to love. Lot to hate. Like this song. Try another one, RP~
Oh lighten up people, it was kinda fun
Rod wrote:
Funny. It never dawns on me to go in and trash songs I don't like. I just turn the volume down.
Simple, isn't it?
Rod wrote:
Funny. It never dawns on me to go in and trash songs I don't like. I just turn the volume down.
Well you're no fun, are ya?
For sheer head-banging boredom, I'm giving this a 1.
Funny. It never dawns on me to go in and trash songs I don't like. I just turn the volume down.
slartibart_O wrote:
X X X
hahahahahaha
Pretty Awful
Party in the back, business up front.
X X X
Jillfly wrote:
Yaaay! It's over!
Yippee!
Odyzzeuz wrote:
Hey, you should start playing more audiobooks on RP. That would be so sweet. No more music, just short stories accompanied by guitar or flute or whatnot. People would LOVE that. They'd give it like a 3.2 or something!
Wait. Make that a 2.8. And falling.
Holy cow! look at all the comments this poop generated.
Arlo Guthrie he ain't.
Long winded but neat story.
Yaaay! It's over!
"It's got a really bouncy beat that you can dance to Dick, I'll give it an 8.5!" NOT!
Can't go wrong with "Bitchin' Camero."
Hey, you should start playing more audiobooks on RP. That would be so sweet. No more music, just short stories accompanied by guitar or flute or whatnot. People would LOVE that. They'd give it like a 3.2 or something!
bitchin' camaro! bitchin' camaro! donuts on the lawn! bitchin' camaro! bitchin' camaro! tony orlando and dawn!
Why are we listening to this?
daveesh wrote:
i think we need to hear "bitchin camaro" by dead milkmen after this to wash the bad taste away.
King_Balt wrote:
Bill - did we do something...? are we being punished? we are sorry... please make it stop. It is like Alice's Diner but it seems even longer and harder to listen to... .
You mean "Alice's Restaurant", right? Alice's Diner was that lame TV show in the 1970's.
this song thoroughly blows...
Do not like, and it has absolutely no chance of growing on me, either.
make it stop!!!!
daveesh wrote:
i think we need to hear "bitchin camaro" by dead milkmen after this to wash the bad taste away.
GOOD CALL!!
I'm waiting for the following: "I guess the whole point I'm really trying to make here is: I! HATE! SAURKRAUT!"
daveesh wrote:
i think we need to hear "bitchin camaro" by dead milkmen after this to wash the bad taste away.
I second that!
DrCyKosis wrote:
I haven't seen a rating this low on any song!
Or one plummet so quickly while it's playing!
How'd she get through security with the knife?
Could this song be any longer? Or more boring?
i think we need to hear "bitchin camaro" by dead milkmen after this to wash the bad taste away.
jadedragon wrote:
How you get up there, Laura?
Ah, a true fan of David's! This is a GREAT song, along with all the others on the CD. Unfortunately, Rebecca "sorried" "Blow 'Em Away" which would be FAR more entertaining for everyone.
So...originally I thought this was funny. But it's way too long. Although I'm digging the mullet on the album cover.
I really like this. "Man, she didn't know she could jump so high. Ah, but she does now!" Great line.