First of all it's true that trouble and me are old pals.
It was a couple of weeks before end of basic training and a rare Saturday break, so some of the guys got to go off base into Leesville to do what you do as a 'cruit in a candy store.
I didn't get to go, though. I was generally on a different list. Many other guys chose to stay back because no money or whatever.
I gave a guy the money to buy me a bottle of tequila and he did and smuggled it back in. A few of us had been playing basketball on the outdoor court and it made sense to me to relax with a little bit of the old El Toro and a salt shaker. Probably had a Mountain Dew or a Bubble Up or something too. I gotta say, I sound like a pro here, and I'm not, but I had immediate aspirations. OK, not really. I loved my Mother too much to kill myself like that, but I got good at tempting the jaws of the dragon, no disrespect.
But I digress.
Hey, c'mon! Us boys were in the cage a long time! Sheesh. Gots to boil it off if opportunity arises.
Anyhow I got pretty molared up and was scared the DS would find out because they had their ways. That ain't no lie.
Those big old barracks were from WW1 era and were two story without under pinning so it was open underneath. I tried to fling the bottle under there but it hit the framework and didn't go very far.
I got to thinking about morning police call and the fact that there was no piece of anything so small that it wouldn't be found by the DS if it weren't picked up and I worried he could catch a glimpse of the bottle and it would come back to be, because..., so I crawled under there to retrieve and plot the next move.
After providing my buddies some amusement crawling around under the barracks we retired upstairs to our bunks to further party and work on our soldiering skills.
Meanwhile I'm super paranoid with this bottle and get the idea of climbing through an open passage to the attic, which was huge. I climbed on a bunk frame and pulled myself up there and a buddy tossed up the bottle. It was expansive and dark so I tried to fling the bottle again only to hit a rafter 10 feet away with my excellent aim. You know what's coming.
It was really dark, and there was a wide board catwalk all the way down, so I crept along feeling my way as my eyes adjusted and found it. Then I tossed it deep. As I turned around I stumbled and stepped off the catwalk and my leg went through the ceiling, where my good buddies enjoyed a new episode of Uh Oh. Tugging on my leg and I can't even remember what all, because now I'm scared sober.
I climbed down and cleaned all the giant mess up and kept walking back and forth under the hole to see if anyone would notice it! C'mon. you know that's funny. The fellers were laughing their asses off. I just sat on my bunk and waited.
Sure enough, 10 minutes later we heard the door open and someone coming up the stairs. That begins Chapter 2.
2 things. Question- did I really think my DS would find that tequila bottle and trace it back to me? Most definitely. Didn't it?
#2- Beware the rot gut tequila with the red sombrero cap. That's my true story and I'm sticking to it.
First of all it's true that trouble and me are old pals.
It was a couple of weeks before end of basic training and a rare Saturday break, so some of the guys got to go off base into Leesville to do what you do as a 'cruit in a candy store.
I didn't get to go, though. I was generally on a different list. Many other guys chose to stay back because no money or whatever.
I gave a guy the money to buy me a bottle of tequila and he did and smuggled it back in. A few of us had been playing basketball on the outdoor court and it made sense to me to relax with a little bit of the old El Toro and a salt shaker. Probably had a Mountain Dew or a Bubble Up or something too. I gotta say, I sound like a pro here, and I'm not, but I had immediate aspirations. OK, not really. I loved my Mother too much to kill myself like that, but I got good at tempting the jaws of the dragon, no disrespect.
But I digress.
Hey, c'mon! Us boys were in the cage a long time! Sheesh. Gots to boil it off if opportunity arises.
Anyhow I got pretty molared up and was scared the DS would find out because they had their ways. That ain't no lie.
Those big old barracks were from WW1 era and were two story without under pinning so it was open underneath. I tried to fling the bottle under there but it hit the framework and didn't go very far.
I got to thinking about morning police call and the fact that there was no piece of anything so small that it wouldn't be found by the DS if it weren't picked up and I worried he could catch a glimpse of the bottle and it would come back to be, because..., so I crawled under there to retrieve and plot the next move.
After providing my buddies some amusement crawling around under the barracks we retired upstairs to our bunks to further party and work on our soldiering skills.
Meanwhile I'm super paranoid with this bottle and get the idea of climbing through an open passage to the attic, which was huge. I climbed on a bunk frame and pulled myself up there and a buddy tossed up the bottle. It was expansive and dark so I tried to fling the bottle again only to hit a rafter 10 feet away with my excellent aim. You know what's coming.
It was really dark, and there was a wide board catwalk all the way down, so I crept along feeling my way as my eyes adjusted and found it. Then I tossed it deep. As I turned around I stumbled and stepped off the catwalk and my leg went through the ceiling, where my good buddies enjoyed a new episode of Uh Oh. Tugging on my leg and I can't even remember what all, because now I'm scared sober.
I climbed down and cleaned all the giant mess up and kept walking back and forth under the hole to see if anyone would notice it! C'mon. you know that's funny. The fellers were laughing their asses off. I just sat on my bunk and waited.
Sure enough, 10 minutes later we heard the door open and someone coming up the stairs. That begins Chapter 2.
2 things. Question- did I really think my DS would find that tequila bottle and trace it back to me? Most definitely. Didn't it?
#2- Beware the rot gut tequila with the red sombrero cap. That's my true story and I'm sticking to it.
Drill Sergeant Gore- "Private ____, you have orders to report for AIT in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma. Bus is here. Secure your issue and civilian property and report to the orderly room to sign out. By the way, who is going to pay for that hole in the barracks ceiling you fell through?"
Private ____- "Yes, well, I've been thinking about that, Drill Sergeant. Can the Army just take it out of my check?"
Drill Sergeant Gore- "Get out Private ____. Now!"
Private ____- "Yes Drill Sergeant!"
Basic Training, around now, 1974.
Ft. Polk Louisiana
Salary- $242.00 mo
Drill Sergeant Gore- "Private ____, you have orders to report for AIT in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma. Bus is here. Secure your issue and civilian property and report to the orderly room to sign out. By the way, who is going to pay for that hole in the barracks ceiling you fell through?"
Private ____- "Yes, well, I've been thinking about that, Drill Sergeant. Can the Army just take it out of my check?"
Drill Sergeant Gore- "Get out Private ____. Now!"
Private ____- "Yes Drill Sergeant!"
Basic Training, around now, 1974.
Ft. Polk Louisiana
Salary- $242.00 mo
LOL
Dad was Lt Col USAF at Barksdale, retiring to Lake Charles. Made many a trip to Ft Polk (later Camp Polk, IIRC).
Drill Sergeant Gore- "Private ____, you have orders to report for AIT in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma. Bus is here. Secure your issue and civilian property and report to the orderly room to sign out. By the way, who is going to pay for that hole in the barracks ceiling you fell through?"
Private ____- "Yes, well, I've been thinking about that, Drill Sergeant. Can the Army just take it out of my check?"
Drill Sergeant Gore- "Get out Private ____. Now!"
Private ____- "Yes Drill Sergeant!"
Basic Training, around now, 1974.
Ft. Polk Louisiana
Salary- $242.00 mo
I tried to remember a conversation from maybe 45 years ago-
Buck says "hey man, come on out on the strasse tonight. All the fellas will be at the VFW. You know. Black-out.
C'mon man. It's Christmas. We ain't at home fighting at least. Ain't gonna fight here either. Come on up and meet my friends from Philly."
"OK Buck. I'll get by. Going to Schmieds too."
Later me and DC cobblestoned on up there. I remember it wasn't street level but was upstairs in a pretty old house or something. It was plushly fit and lit and decorated and absolutely packed with the brothers. DC just kept muttering "damn" under his breath.
Buck saw me and waved me over to his table to meet his group. I nodded at him and slowly moved that way.
There was a great sound system in the place and a small dance floor full of revelers.
As I approached the table and said hi or wassup or whatever the vernacular was at the time, a blonde German girl there hanging on one of the guys looked at me and said in her German black slang, "what are these crackers doing here?!"
Everybody busted out laughing including me, but not DC. He was horrified.
Buck looked at her and said "Bitch shut the f___ up, these are my friends!"
It was funny I have to admit. Racists are so stupid.
Hello! Hooray! Or, whatever the vernacular is these days...
Thanks for sharing.
