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Index » Radio Paradise/General » General Discussion » A Sad Day, Indeed Page: Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9  Next
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rosedraws

rosedraws Avatar

Location: close to the edge
Gender: Female


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 9:05am

 miamizsun wrote:
 
gasp.  
meower

meower Avatar

Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 8:52am

 Southern_Boy wrote:

Worst thing I've ever been through. Family (mine), friends and hundreds of students.
 

 
miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3283.1 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 8:47am

 Southern_Boy wrote:
Attending the funeral of a once vibrant 17 year old young man who succumbed to cancer. It really makes all of my problems seem soooo insignificant.

 
Twenty seven years ago, as a young man, I had to take my newborn child, to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital in Nashville. My son was dying, I had been laid off from my job. I had no money to speak of, no insurance and my son was on his death bed. I was pissed (for lack of a better term) at the world to say the least. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me.

When I got to the hospital, I got a serious reality check. Floor after floor of terminally ill children, parents standing around weeping, crying out to god and watching their children die. It was horrible to watch. Needless to say it put things in perspective.

Please give my condolences to your friends.

Regards

rosedraws

rosedraws Avatar

Location: close to the edge
Gender: Female


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 8:33am

 Southern_Boy wrote:

Worst thing I've ever been through. Family (mine), friends and hundreds of students.
 

Southern_Boy

Southern_Boy Avatar

Location: On my way to the beach
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 8:11am

 kysmet wrote:

How tragic.  No parent should have to lose his or her child.
 
Worst thing I've ever been through. Family (mine), friends and hundreds of students.

K_Love

K_Love Avatar

Gender: Female


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 8:01am

 Southern_Boy wrote:
Attending the funeral of a once vibrant 17 year old young man who succumbed to cancer. It really makes all of my problems seem soooo insignificant.

 
How tragic.  No parent should have to lose his or her child.

Southern_Boy

Southern_Boy Avatar

Location: On my way to the beach
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 7:57am

Attending the funeral of a once vibrant 17 year old young man who succumbed to cancer. It really makes all of my problems seem soooo insignificant.
Umberdog

Umberdog Avatar

Location: In my body.
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 7:31pm

 Exit2Eden wrote:

Just because someone is "mentally ill", it does not make them commit criminal acts...talk about stereotypes! {#Rolleyes}
 
Certain things should come as no surprise. What I meant was, you shouldn't blame someone who you know is sick for letting you down. I've had two alcoholics and a schizophrenic in my family. I'm not without the experience of helping people close to me that stabbed me in the back... through no fault of their own. One simply needs to consider the source and take it in stride.


Beanie

Beanie Avatar

Location: under the jellicle moon
Gender: Female


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 5:33pm

 arighter2 wrote:
She is a good person acting out on a fear of having nothing. It really wasn't necessary because I have been giving her spending money. Acts like these inevitably harm the doer. I know it sounds weird, but I have to tighten up my security to protect her from herself.
 
I totally get this.

I have fostered children who have been abused and neglected.  When they finally get into a situation where they have a stable place to live and enough food, they often steal from their hosts, not out of malice or even out of need, but because, in the back of their minds, they are planning for the day when it's not there anymore.  And often it's not money; it can be small things:  trinkets, single earrings, pens, eye glasses...I've had to go and retrieve all of these things from bedrooms.  And inevitably these children feel a mixture of shame and desperation.

They also will hoard food, sometimes in completely unrealistic quantities. 

I'm sorry that this happened to you.  I hope she starts to feel more comfortable and stable soon so she can break out of this behavior.

triskele

triskele Avatar

Location: The Dragons' Roost


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 5:09pm

 arighter2 wrote:
I've given a mentally ill homeless friend a phone and a month worth of minutes, paid her car insurance, given her almost two hundred dollars, and expert advice on who to see to alleviate her situation, and let her stay in my apt while I was gone. I just found out she went through my stuff and took $100. {#Sad}

 
this sounds very familiar. i found myself in a similar situation a few years ago.  it is sad.

rosedraws

rosedraws Avatar

Location: close to the edge
Gender: Female


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 4:23pm

 arighter2 wrote:

All advice is appreciated. We have plugged her into the system and are hoping, among other things, for a positive outcome getting on the same housing program I'm on. I am also serving as chief cheerleader  on the job finding front. I have recurring access to social workers that I keep apprised of goings on as well. I am here to soften the circumstances, but I can't and wouldn't ameliorate them altogether.
 
So excellent!  
arighter2

arighter2 Avatar

Location: dubuque
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 4:15pm

 rosedraws wrote:

You have a great attitude and a good plan. I love that you're stepping out for this person. But it's sounds like she's not ready for all this responsibility yet.  

I strongly recommend you connect yourself with a supervisor of sorts, someone who works in the field of helping the homeless. If you TRULY want to help this person, get an adviser.  Otherwise, you're likely to slip into unconscious co-dependency patterns.  Your love for this person keeps you strong for her (I understand that), but it also may prevent you from making firm boundaries, or backing away and letter her go through something difficult when it's appropriate.

I know you're savvy, so forgive me if I'm just going over stuff you already know & practice.

 

 
All advice is appreciated. We have plugged her into the system and are hoping, among other things, for a positive outcome getting on the same housing program I'm on. I am also serving as chief cheerleader  on the job finding front. I have recurring access to social workers that I keep apprised of goings on as well. I am here to soften the circumstances, but I can't and wouldn't ameliorate them altogether.

rosedraws

rosedraws Avatar

Location: close to the edge
Gender: Female


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 3:30pm

 arighter2 wrote:

Since I started writing, I have told her that I was missing the money, however I did not accuse her. In this instance, knowing her, I don't believe confrontation would be helpful because it would cause her to withdraw from the one person whose steadiness and connection she most needs.  From my own experience, I am totally plugged into the mental health/housing resources she needs.
 
You have a great attitude and a good plan. I love that you're stepping out for this person. But it's sounds like she's not ready for all this responsibility yet.  

I strongly recommend you connect yourself with a supervisor of sorts, someone who works in the field of helping the homeless. If you TRULY want to help this person, get an adviser.  Otherwise, you're likely to slip into unconscious co-dependency patterns.  Your love for this person keeps you strong for her (I understand that), but it also may prevent you from making firm boundaries, or backing away and letter her go through something difficult when it's appropriate.

I know you're savvy, so forgive me if I'm just going over stuff you already know & practice.

 
Antigone

Antigone Avatar

Location: A house, in a Virginian Valley
Gender: Female


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 3:05pm

 arighter2 wrote:

I really don't think confronting her would serve a positive purpose. I will let her know  I am missing the money without accusation. The road ahead for her is quite difficult. She needs me for an ally. I have to rework how I handle money so as not to provide the temptation.
 
I think this is exactly right, L. I'm so sorry your good nature was taken advantage of, but it is helpful for you to know where you stand with her, so that you can proceed (as you said) more carefully.



arighter2

arighter2 Avatar

Location: dubuque
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 1:40pm

 Beaker wrote:

Then she's extraordinarily lucky to have you in her corner.  Kudos.  Many others wouldn't make that degree of commitment.


  Thank you.


arighter2

arighter2 Avatar

Location: dubuque
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 1:36pm

 hippiechick wrote:

Are you just letting it go, or will you say something?
 
Since I started writing, I have told her that I was missing the money, however I did not accuse her. In this instance, knowing her, I don't believe confrontation would be helpful because it would cause her to withdraw from the one person whose steadiness and connection she most needs.  From my own experience, I am totally plugged into the mental health/housing resources she needs.

cc_rider

cc_rider Avatar

Location: Bastrop
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 1:34pm

 dmax wrote:
Hence my daily visit to the RP forums.
 
What, to witness the train wrecks?

black321

black321 Avatar

Location: An earth without maps
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 1:33pm

 arighter2 wrote:
I've given a mentally ill homeless friend a phone and a month worth of minutes, paid her car insurance, given her almost two hundred dollars, and expert advice on who to see to alleviate her situation, and let her stay in my apt while I was gone. I just found out she went through my stuff and took $100. {#Sad}

  it's better to give to those in need, and unwillingly taken advantage of, than to ignore the need in the first place. 


Coaxial

Coaxial Avatar

Location: Comfortably numb in So Texas
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 1:33pm

 arighter2 wrote:

Practical steps have to be taken to protect us both, but I have known her long enough that my love is unconditional. I am willing and easily strong enough to fight for people in ways they cannot fight for themselves.
 
Wishing the best possible outcome for you here Larry.{#Hug}Good on you for being there for your friend...

hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 1:31pm

 arighter2 wrote:

Practical steps have to be taken to protect us both, but I have known her long enough that my love is unconditional. I am willing and easily strong enough to fight for people in ways they cannot fight for themselves.
 
Are you just letting it go, or will you say something?

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