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Things You Thought Today - Antigone - Oct 31, 2020 - 4:02pm
 
Happy Halloween Yall! - Antigone - Oct 31, 2020 - 3:42pm
 
Trump - R_P - Oct 31, 2020 - 2:49pm
 
2020 Elections - R_P - Oct 31, 2020 - 1:31pm
 
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Anti-War - R_P - Oct 31, 2020 - 12:32pm
 
Marijuana: Baked News. - Ohmsen - Oct 31, 2020 - 12:32pm
 
Celebrity Deaths - sirdroseph - Oct 31, 2020 - 12:14pm
 
The Obituary Page - Ohmsen - Oct 31, 2020 - 11:38am
 
New President Music - Lazy8 - Oct 31, 2020 - 10:27am
 
Play the Blues - sirdroseph - Oct 31, 2020 - 10:02am
 
Looting & vandalism isn't protest - Ohmsen - Oct 31, 2020 - 8:59am
 
Joe Biden - Ohmsen - Oct 31, 2020 - 8:38am
 
Just Time Lapse - Ohmsen - Oct 31, 2020 - 8:20am
 
Mixtape Culture Club - Ohmsen - Oct 31, 2020 - 7:56am
 
Radio Paradise NFL Pick'em Group - miamizsun - Oct 31, 2020 - 7:40am
 
The Dragons' Roost - miamizsun - Oct 31, 2020 - 7:29am
 
Radio Paradise Comments - miamizsun - Oct 31, 2020 - 6:59am
 
Counting with Pictures - ScottN - Oct 30, 2020 - 8:59pm
 
Trump Lies - Manbird - Oct 30, 2020 - 7:45pm
 
Outstanding Covers - ptooey - Oct 30, 2020 - 5:40pm
 
KarmaKarma Sweepstakes - kcar - Oct 30, 2020 - 1:27pm
 
Things that piss me off - Isabeau - Oct 30, 2020 - 12:47pm
 
Name My Band - Isabeau - Oct 30, 2020 - 12:45pm
 
• • • The Once-a-Day • • •  - oldviolin - Oct 30, 2020 - 9:52am
 
Gotta Get Your Drink On - Ohmsen - Oct 30, 2020 - 8:36am
 
What the hell OV? - oldviolin - Oct 30, 2020 - 7:28am
 
codec - Ohmsen - Oct 30, 2020 - 6:04am
 
Lyrics that strike a chord today... - sirdroseph - Oct 30, 2020 - 5:39am
 
Message To Lucky - miamizsun - Oct 30, 2020 - 4:30am
 
The Dragon's Roots - miamizsun - Oct 30, 2020 - 4:24am
 
Media Bias - miamizsun - Oct 30, 2020 - 3:56am
 
Automotive Lust - R_P - Oct 29, 2020 - 9:10pm
 
Have you planned your Halloween costume yet?? - miamizsun - Oct 29, 2020 - 6:34pm
 
Canada - haresfur - Oct 29, 2020 - 3:41pm
 
Two questions. That's it. I promise. - kcar - Oct 29, 2020 - 3:39pm
 
Supreme Court: Who's Next? - R_P - Oct 29, 2020 - 3:05pm
 
Questions. - pigtail - Oct 29, 2020 - 10:49am
 
Photos you have taken of your walks or hikes. - Antigone - Oct 29, 2020 - 6:05am
 
NEED A COMPUTER GEEK! - miamizsun - Oct 29, 2020 - 4:20am
 
Can't sleep - westslope - Oct 28, 2020 - 10:07pm
 
Add a "Modern mix" - darrio - Oct 28, 2020 - 6:59pm
 
what the hell, miamizsun? - oldviolin - Oct 28, 2020 - 6:10pm
 
Today in History - miamizsun - Oct 28, 2020 - 4:27pm
 
HALF A WORLD - oldviolin - Oct 28, 2020 - 8:53am
 
TWO WORDS - rgio - Oct 28, 2020 - 6:57am
 
Baseball, anyone? - miamizsun - Oct 28, 2020 - 4:31am
 
Vinyl Only Spin List - kurtster - Oct 27, 2020 - 7:21pm
 
how do you feel right now? - kurtster - Oct 27, 2020 - 6:23pm
 
VTuner drop Radio Paradise’s main mix? - BillG - Oct 27, 2020 - 3:56pm
 
Environment - Ohmsen - Oct 27, 2020 - 2:39pm
 
Recommended documentaries - Ohmsen - Oct 27, 2020 - 2:33pm
 
Republican Party - Steely_D - Oct 27, 2020 - 1:28pm
 
• • • BRING OUT YOUR DEAD • • •  - oldviolin - Oct 27, 2020 - 11:45am
 
Great guitar faces - GINRUSH - Oct 27, 2020 - 11:27am
 
david bromberg - Antigone - Oct 27, 2020 - 6:09am
 
Pernicious Pious Proclivities Particularized Prodigiously - R_P - Oct 26, 2020 - 7:27pm
 
Strips, cartoons, illustrations - R_P - Oct 26, 2020 - 4:59pm
 
::odd but intriguing:: - miamizsun - Oct 26, 2020 - 4:42pm
 
New Zealand - R_P - Oct 26, 2020 - 3:09pm
 
Favorite Quotes - westslope - Oct 26, 2020 - 2:04pm
 
Films you're excited about. - oldviolin - Oct 25, 2020 - 7:06pm
 
Rock Movies/Documentaries - KurtfromLaQuinta - Oct 25, 2020 - 6:29pm
 
Philosophy (Meaty Metaphysical Munchables!) - oldviolin - Oct 25, 2020 - 3:02pm
 
Quick! I need a chicken... - oldviolin - Oct 25, 2020 - 2:54pm
 
How's the weather? - haresfur - Oct 25, 2020 - 2:25pm
 
What's that smell? - Antigone - Oct 25, 2020 - 9:49am
 
De onde você ouve a Radio Paradise? Cidade/Local no Brasil - crishtiane - Oct 24, 2020 - 10:33pm
 
RPeeps I miss. - KurtfromLaQuinta - Oct 24, 2020 - 9:51pm
 
RightWingNutZ - R_P - Oct 24, 2020 - 5:01pm
 
More reggae, less Marley please - Ohmsen - Oct 24, 2020 - 10:22am
 
What The Hell Buddy? - oldviolin - Oct 24, 2020 - 10:17am
 
Lyrics That Remind You of Someone - oldviolin - Oct 24, 2020 - 10:10am
 
Dialing 1-800-Manbird - oldviolin - Oct 24, 2020 - 10:09am
 
Music Videos - Ohmsen - Oct 24, 2020 - 9:50am
 
Index » Radio Paradise/General » General Discussion » A Sad Day, Indeed Page: Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10  Next
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miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 9:42am

 oldviolin wrote:


 
Let me clarify, after several years in that hospital my son did survive, He was able to come home and after two more years, we were able to disconnect him from all life support and he recovered enough to live a somewhat normal life. If you saw him now, you'd never know he was sick a day in his life.

I am grateful to Vanderbilt CH, their staff, Ross Laboratories and two private charities that made it all possible. {#Yes}

I was inspired to "pass it on" or "pay it forward" as they say.

That experience is why I have devoted so much time and energy to helping others in need.

It feels good. {#Biggrin}

Peace


oldviolin

oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 9:10am

 miamizsun wrote:

Twenty seven years ago, as a young man, I had to take my newborn child, to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital in Nashville. My son was dying, I had been laid off from my job. I had no money to speak of, no insurance and my son was on his death bed. I was pissed (for lack of a better term) at the world to say the least. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me.

When I got to the hospital, I got a serious reality check. Floor after floor of terminally ill children, parents standing around weeping, crying out to god and watching their children die. It was horrible to watch. Needless to say it put things in perspective.

Please give my condolences to your friends.

Regards
 


rosedraws

rosedraws Avatar

Location: close to the edge
Gender: Female


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 9:05am

 miamizsun wrote:
 
gasp.  
meower

meower Avatar

Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 8:52am

 Southern_Boy wrote:

Worst thing I've ever been through. Family (mine), friends and hundreds of students.
 

 
miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 8:47am

 Southern_Boy wrote:
Attending the funeral of a once vibrant 17 year old young man who succumbed to cancer. It really makes all of my problems seem soooo insignificant.

 
Twenty seven years ago, as a young man, I had to take my newborn child, to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital in Nashville. My son was dying, I had been laid off from my job. I had no money to speak of, no insurance and my son was on his death bed. I was pissed (for lack of a better term) at the world to say the least. I couldn't understand why this was happening to me.

When I got to the hospital, I got a serious reality check. Floor after floor of terminally ill children, parents standing around weeping, crying out to god and watching their children die. It was horrible to watch. Needless to say it put things in perspective.

Please give my condolences to your friends.

Regards

rosedraws

rosedraws Avatar

Location: close to the edge
Gender: Female


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 8:33am

 Southern_Boy wrote:

Worst thing I've ever been through. Family (mine), friends and hundreds of students.
 

Southern_Boy

Southern_Boy Avatar

Location: On my way to the beach
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 8:11am

 kysmet wrote:

How tragic.  No parent should have to lose his or her child.
 
Worst thing I've ever been through. Family (mine), friends and hundreds of students.

K_Love

K_Love Avatar

Gender: Female


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 8:01am

 Southern_Boy wrote:
Attending the funeral of a once vibrant 17 year old young man who succumbed to cancer. It really makes all of my problems seem soooo insignificant.

 
How tragic.  No parent should have to lose his or her child.

Southern_Boy

Southern_Boy Avatar

Location: On my way to the beach
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 4, 2011 - 7:57am

Attending the funeral of a once vibrant 17 year old young man who succumbed to cancer. It really makes all of my problems seem soooo insignificant.
Umberdog

Umberdog Avatar

Location: In my body.
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 7:31pm

 Exit2Eden wrote:

Just because someone is "mentally ill", it does not make them commit criminal acts...talk about stereotypes! {#Rolleyes}
 
Certain things should come as no surprise. What I meant was, you shouldn't blame someone who you know is sick for letting you down. I've had two alcoholics and a schizophrenic in my family. I'm not without the experience of helping people close to me that stabbed me in the back... through no fault of their own. One simply needs to consider the source and take it in stride.


Beanie

Beanie Avatar

Location: under the jellicle moon
Gender: Female


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 5:33pm

 arighter2 wrote:
She is a good person acting out on a fear of having nothing. It really wasn't necessary because I have been giving her spending money. Acts like these inevitably harm the doer. I know it sounds weird, but I have to tighten up my security to protect her from herself.
 
I totally get this.

I have fostered children who have been abused and neglected.  When they finally get into a situation where they have a stable place to live and enough food, they often steal from their hosts, not out of malice or even out of need, but because, in the back of their minds, they are planning for the day when it's not there anymore.  And often it's not money; it can be small things:  trinkets, single earrings, pens, eye glasses...I've had to go and retrieve all of these things from bedrooms.  And inevitably these children feel a mixture of shame and desperation.

They also will hoard food, sometimes in completely unrealistic quantities. 

I'm sorry that this happened to you.  I hope she starts to feel more comfortable and stable soon so she can break out of this behavior.

triskele

triskele Avatar

Location: The Dragons' Roost


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 5:09pm

 arighter2 wrote:
I've given a mentally ill homeless friend a phone and a month worth of minutes, paid her car insurance, given her almost two hundred dollars, and expert advice on who to see to alleviate her situation, and let her stay in my apt while I was gone. I just found out she went through my stuff and took $100. {#Sad}

 
this sounds very familiar. i found myself in a similar situation a few years ago.  it is sad.

rosedraws

rosedraws Avatar

Location: close to the edge
Gender: Female


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 4:23pm

 arighter2 wrote:

All advice is appreciated. We have plugged her into the system and are hoping, among other things, for a positive outcome getting on the same housing program I'm on. I am also serving as chief cheerleader  on the job finding front. I have recurring access to social workers that I keep apprised of goings on as well. I am here to soften the circumstances, but I can't and wouldn't ameliorate them altogether.
 
So excellent!  
arighter2

arighter2 Avatar

Location: dubuque
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 4:15pm

 rosedraws wrote:

You have a great attitude and a good plan. I love that you're stepping out for this person. But it's sounds like she's not ready for all this responsibility yet.  

I strongly recommend you connect yourself with a supervisor of sorts, someone who works in the field of helping the homeless. If you TRULY want to help this person, get an adviser.  Otherwise, you're likely to slip into unconscious co-dependency patterns.  Your love for this person keeps you strong for her (I understand that), but it also may prevent you from making firm boundaries, or backing away and letter her go through something difficult when it's appropriate.

I know you're savvy, so forgive me if I'm just going over stuff you already know & practice.

 

 
All advice is appreciated. We have plugged her into the system and are hoping, among other things, for a positive outcome getting on the same housing program I'm on. I am also serving as chief cheerleader  on the job finding front. I have recurring access to social workers that I keep apprised of goings on as well. I am here to soften the circumstances, but I can't and wouldn't ameliorate them altogether.

rosedraws

rosedraws Avatar

Location: close to the edge
Gender: Female


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 3:30pm

 arighter2 wrote:

Since I started writing, I have told her that I was missing the money, however I did not accuse her. In this instance, knowing her, I don't believe confrontation would be helpful because it would cause her to withdraw from the one person whose steadiness and connection she most needs.  From my own experience, I am totally plugged into the mental health/housing resources she needs.
 
You have a great attitude and a good plan. I love that you're stepping out for this person. But it's sounds like she's not ready for all this responsibility yet.  

I strongly recommend you connect yourself with a supervisor of sorts, someone who works in the field of helping the homeless. If you TRULY want to help this person, get an adviser.  Otherwise, you're likely to slip into unconscious co-dependency patterns.  Your love for this person keeps you strong for her (I understand that), but it also may prevent you from making firm boundaries, or backing away and letter her go through something difficult when it's appropriate.

I know you're savvy, so forgive me if I'm just going over stuff you already know & practice.

 
Antigone

Antigone Avatar

Location: A house, in a Virginian Valley
Gender: Female


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 3:05pm

 arighter2 wrote:

I really don't think confronting her would serve a positive purpose. I will let her know  I am missing the money without accusation. The road ahead for her is quite difficult. She needs me for an ally. I have to rework how I handle money so as not to provide the temptation.
 
I think this is exactly right, L. I'm so sorry your good nature was taken advantage of, but it is helpful for you to know where you stand with her, so that you can proceed (as you said) more carefully.



arighter2

arighter2 Avatar

Location: dubuque
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 1:40pm

 Beaker wrote:

Then she's extraordinarily lucky to have you in her corner.  Kudos.  Many others wouldn't make that degree of commitment.


  Thank you.


arighter2

arighter2 Avatar

Location: dubuque
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 1:36pm

 hippiechick wrote:

Are you just letting it go, or will you say something?
 
Since I started writing, I have told her that I was missing the money, however I did not accuse her. In this instance, knowing her, I don't believe confrontation would be helpful because it would cause her to withdraw from the one person whose steadiness and connection she most needs.  From my own experience, I am totally plugged into the mental health/housing resources she needs.

cc_rider

cc_rider Avatar

Location: Bastrop
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 1:34pm

 dmax wrote:
Hence my daily visit to the RP forums.
 
What, to witness the train wrecks?

black321

black321 Avatar

Location: An earth without maps
Gender: Male


Posted: Oct 14, 2010 - 1:33pm

 arighter2 wrote:
I've given a mentally ill homeless friend a phone and a month worth of minutes, paid her car insurance, given her almost two hundred dollars, and expert advice on who to see to alleviate her situation, and let her stay in my apt while I was gone. I just found out she went through my stuff and took $100. {#Sad}

  it's better to give to those in need, and unwillingly taken advantage of, than to ignore the need in the first place. 


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