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Index » Regional/Local » USA/Canada » The War on Happiness Page: Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 19, 20, 21, 22  Next
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hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:40pm

 buzz wrote:

really?
 
so, your parents were successful?

 
They just were.
buzz

buzz Avatar

Location: up the boohai


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:39pm

 hippiechick wrote:

This is out of your realm of understanding.

 
really?
 
so, your parents were successful?
hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:34pm

 buzz wrote:

Your parents were failures and should have been labeled as such so that you could have been saved from the hellish life they caused you to have.

 
This is out of your realm of understanding.
hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:32pm

 kurtster wrote:


I raised two boys, both disabled with epilepsy and learning disabilites.

If you go back to one of my earlier posts, I mentioned the institutionalism of playing games / sports to ties in PUBLIC schools.  That is how we got this far in this discussion. 

We are institutionalizing a behaviour that leads to a vacuum that inherently lacks happiness due to with holding certain experiences for the greater good and protection of everyone, whether they need that protection or not.  The equal sharing of misery.  Excelling or winning is discouraged as much as possible and in some cases not allowed.

 
Totally not true.

I could tell you all kinds of stories that illustrate the harmful affects of competitive sports in elementary school. 
buzz

buzz Avatar

Location: up the boohai


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:29pm

 hippiechick wrote:

Well, you had a much different upbringing than I had. Did your parents say "Well, you really fucked up in that hockey game today! What's wrong with you? Are you stupid or something?"

 
Your parents were failures and should have been labeled as such so that you could have been saved from the hellish life they caused you to have.
kurtster

kurtster Avatar

Location: drifting
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:25pm

 hippiechick wrote:

It's not that they are not PC, they are violent and harmful. Maybe you weren't one of those who would get blasted with a ball by the asshole boys in the class. And you didn't raise kids either, right?

Again, there is nothing wrong with physical competition, if there are rules, if the children are mature enough and have the skills, and the children are in agreement. And mental competition is fine too, for the same reasons. Bt my daughter did not enjoy playing board games, so I certainly never made her.

None of this has anything to do with happiness, btw.

 

 

I raised two boys, both disabled with epilepsy and learning disabilites.

If you go back to one of my earlier posts, I mentioned the institutionalism of playing games / sports to ties in PUBLIC schools.  That is how we got this far in this discussion. 

We are institutionalizing a behaviour that leads to a vacuum that inherently lacks happiness due to with holding certain experiences for the greater good and protection of everyone, whether they need that protection or not.  The equal sharing of misery.  Excelling or winning is discouraged as much as possible and in some cases not allowed.
islander

islander Avatar

Location: Seattle
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:23pm

 hippiechick wrote:

That really isn't a determinant of happiness anyway. 

I taught my children that life is a journey, you can always change your path if the one you are on isn't working, have plans not expectations, do what will make you happy in life and don't do what makes you unhappy, and what you do does not define who you are.

 
Learning how to deal with life's inevitable setbacks makes people happier than believing they will always be happy because it was decried that way by some one who wanted to avoid conflict.  That second one - part of the everyone get's a trophy generation, is going to suffer a lot more with life's real setbacks.
hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:19pm

 islander wrote:

So because your parents were f'ed up, we shouldn't teach kids about success and failure?

Life is going to happen to everyone regardless of what we shield them from in school. Some parents will do a better job than others, some will have better circumstances than others. People from far worse circumstances will manage to succeed as well and will do it with more grace and aplomb than we will. The idea of doing it all along is to show that you can survive failure on a small scale, then build on that knowledge. like it or not, it's all a game - you better understand the rules. 

 
That really isn't a determinant of happiness anyway. 

I taught my children that life is a journey, you can always change your path if the one you are on isn't working, have plans not expectations, do what will make you happy in life and don't do what makes you unhappy, and what you do does not define who you are.
islander

islander Avatar

Location: Seattle
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:13pm

 hippiechick wrote:

Well, you had a much different upbringing than I had. Did your parents say "Well, you really fucked up in that hockey game today! What's wrong with you? Are you stupid or something?"

 
So because your parents were f'ed up, we shouldn't teach kids about success and failure?

Life is going to happen to everyone regardless of what we shield them from in school. Some parents will do a better job than others, some will have better circumstances than others. People from far worse circumstances will manage to succeed as well and will do it with more grace and aplomb than we will. The idea of doing it all along is to show that you can survive failure on a small scale, then build on that knowledge. like it or not, it's all a game - you better understand the rules. 
kurtster

kurtster Avatar

Location: drifting
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:10pm

 ErikX wrote:

It depends on what type of socialism. Was he referring to Communistic socialism where the state owns all property and means of production? If so I would agree with him. But democratic socialism as practiced in N. Europe has been very successful economically and socially. Indeed, many of those countries rank highest in happiness in the world. Danmark consistently ranks #1 in happiest citizens. 

 

Happiness tops in Denmark, lowest in Togo, study says

How happy is your country? In a report released for the meeting, economists John Helliwell, Richard Layard and Jeffrey Sachs round up what is known about happiness around the globe.

Different groups have asked different questions to measure happiness. In the widest such survey, Gallup asked people to rate their lives from 0 to 10. It found huge differences in global happiness: More than a third of Europeans ranked themselves an 8 or higher. Less than 5% said so in sub-Saharan Africa.

According to polls taken from 2005 to 2011, these were the happiest countries:

  1. Denmark
  2. Finland
  3. Norway
  4. Netherlands
  5. Canada
  6. Switzerland
  7. Sweden
  8. New Zealand
  9. Australia
  10. Ireland


 
I don't think that this topic is ready for the leap to your point on international levels of happiness.  Looking at your list, these countries all have one thing in common.  They are / were Monarchies or ruled by Monarchies for the bulk of their existance.

Our Declaration of Independence is a direct reference towards the contempt of Monarchies.  Our Constitution is a direct rebuttal towards the ways of Monarchies or dynastical 'benevolent dictators' if you will.

None of these countries listed above have had the same social experience as the US.
hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:09pm

 Umberdog wrote:

The trick is to not label anyone anything at all. No label can ever define what we are. Labels only serve to instill a sense of expectation and/or insecurity.

Labels are very tricky.

 
Exactly
hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:08pm

 islander wrote:

I'm able to learn from failures without worrying about the semantics attached.  Part of that ability comes from lots of failure in my childhood (and stitches from PeeWee Hockey). When I lost I was taught that my parents still loved me, the sun came up the next day and I'd have another chance. When I met the challenges I won, and my parents still loved me an the next day was still full of challenge.  The pizza at pizza hut after the game tasted the same win or lose, and we eventually figured out that showing up for practice was as important as showing up for the game. All of this translated very well into my adult world.

 
Well, you had a much different upbringing than I had. Did your parents say "Well, you really fucked up in that hockey game today! What's wrong with you? Are you stupid or something?"
Umberdog

Umberdog Avatar

Location: In my body.
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:05pm

 hippiechick wrote:

The secret is to not label them "failures."

 
The trick is to not label anyone anything at all. No label can ever define what we are. Labels only serve to instill a sense of expectation and/or insecurity.

Labels are very tricky.
ErikX

ErikX Avatar



Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:04pm

Our employer health care system ALONE is a war on happiness and/or the chance to succeed or fail especially at entrepreneurship.

Americans are virtually trapped in their jobs because they are afraid if they quit to try to start their own business they will not only lose their health care but they wont be able to get insurance at all because they might have a pre-existing condition.  And youll find out how UN- happy you are when you are diagnosed with something serious and have no health insurance to get adequate treatment.  

One million Americans go broke from medical bills every year and 50,000 Americans die every year from lack of insurance. THAT is class warfare. 
 


islander

islander Avatar

Location: Seattle
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:03pm

 hippiechick wrote:

Did you learn something? Then you didn't fail. If you do not label events as "good" or "bad" or "failure" or even "success" it becomes an entirely different event and leaves space for new possibilities.

 
I'm able to learn from failures without worrying about the semantics attached.  Part of that ability comes from lots of failure in my childhood (and stitches from PeeWee Hockey). When I lost I was taught that my parents still loved me, the sun came up the next day and I'd have another chance. When I met the challenges I won, and my parents still loved me an the next day was still full of challenge.  The pizza at pizza hut after the game tasted the same win or lose, and we eventually figured out that showing up for practice was as important as showing up for the game. All of this translated very well into my adult world.
hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 5:58pm

 islander wrote:

Why not?  They are what they are. Choosing labels arbitrarily to try and soften the feel also diminishes the lessons available.  The whole point is to learn that failing or losing isn't the end, and neither is wining. 

 
Did you learn something? Then you didn't fail. If you do not label events as "good" or "bad" or "failure" or even "success" it becomes an entirely different event and leaves space for new possibilities.
islander

islander Avatar

Location: Seattle
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 5:56pm

 hippiechick wrote:

The secret is to not label them "failures."

 
Why not?  They are what they are. Choosing labels arbitrarily to try and soften the feel also diminishes the lessons available.  The whole point is to learn that failing or losing isn't the end, and neither is wining. 
miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 5:53pm

 buzz wrote:

dont be silly. if they fail, they'll pout and the government will take of them. hush now and fork over your fair share.

 
can i pull a structured default and let government take care of me?

where do i sign up?

do i need to have children out of wedlock?

start a green company and get a lobbyist?

please advise

hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 5:52pm

 islander wrote:

Even successful people often fail. The way they handle it is often part of why they are successful. I've learned far more from my failures than I have from my successes. 

 
The secret is to not label them "failures."
hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female


Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 5:51pm

 kurtster wrote:

What about things like Candyland and Chutes and Ladders ?  There is winning and losing involved.  There is more than just physical competition.  Checkers, Chess, debating clubs.  Competition involves rules, turn taking, sharing and dealing with emotions.  In Candyland, adults and children alike can play in the same game at the same time.

But more to your thoughts, playground games like Dodgeball are no longer allowed because its not PC and too many people 'lose' because not all possess the same physical skills and abilities.  Things like that, if you want to stay with your lines of thought.

 
It's not that they are not PC, they are violent and harmful. Maybe you weren't one of those who would get blasted with a ball by the asshole boys in the class. And you didn't raise kids either, right?

Again, there is nothing wrong with physical competition, if there are rules, if the children are mature enough and have the skills, and the children are in agreement. And mental competition is fine too, for the same reasons. Bt my daughter did not enjoy playing board games, so I certainly never made her.

None of this has anything to do with happiness, btw.

 
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