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lily34

lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:52pm
buzz wrote: The way we grow up and the things/life lessons we learn, have nothing to do with happiness?

hippiechick

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Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:51pm
buzz wrote: The way we grow up and the things/life lessons we learn, have nothing to do with happiness? No, happiness has to do with acceptance of the present. Your childhood and your past is not who you are today.

islander

islander Avatar

Location: West coast somewhere
Gender: Male

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:51pm
hippiechick wrote: Again, none of this has any relationship to happiness. Actually, it does. A lot of happiness is how you deal with things. Life is going to throw a lot of crap at us all. Being able to deal with it in a constructive manner makes being happy easier.

buzz

Location: up the boohai

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:50pm
hippiechick wrote: None of this has anything to do with happiness. The way we grow up and the things/life lessons we learn, have nothing to do with happiness?

hippiechick

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Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:47pm
kurtster wrote: Thanks for sharing your views on this topic. These are the kinds of thoughts that I hoped this discussion would bring forth at this stage. And to buddy way earlier. None of this has anything to do with happiness.

kurtster

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Location: where fear is not a virtue
Gender: Male

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:46pm

islander wrote:

Learning how to deal with life's inevitable setbacks makes people happier than believing they will always be happy because it was decried that way by some one who wanted to avoid conflict. That second one - part of the everyone get's a trophy generation, is going to suffer a lot more with life's real setbacks.

Thanks for sharing your views on this topic. These are the kinds of thoughts that I hoped this discussion would bring forth at this stage.

And to buddy way earlier.

Umberdog

Umberdog Avatar

Location: In my body.
Gender: Male

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:45pm
I raised no children, but I remember being a child. In certain ways it was the most wonderful, confusing, terrible, and longed for times of my life. Had I known then what I know now... Had I the innocence now that I had then... Life is losses and gains and a perspective of the two.

buzz

Location: up the boohai

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:45pm
hippiechick wrote: They just were. Were what? Did you use your parents as models to raise your kids?

hippiechick

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Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:44pm
islander wrote: And I could tell you all kinds of stories that illustrate the beneficial affects of competitive sports in elementary school. - I went to elementary school, so I assume I'm qualified to comment here. Again, none of this has any relationship to happiness.

islander

islander Avatar

Location: West coast somewhere
Gender: Male

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:43pm
hippiechick wrote: Totally not true. I could tell you all kinds of stories that illustrate the harmful affects of competitive sports in elementary school. And I could tell you all kinds of stories that illustrate the beneficial affects of competitive sports in elementary school. - I went to elementary school, so I assume I'm qualified to comment here.

hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:40pm
buzz wrote: really? so, your parents were successful? They just were.

buzz

Location: up the boohai

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:39pm
hippiechick wrote: This is out of your realm of understanding. really? so, your parents were successful?

hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:34pm
buzz wrote: Your parents were failures and should have been labeled as such so that you could have been saved from the hellish life they caused you to have. This is out of your realm of understanding.

hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:32pm

kurtster wrote:

I raised two boys, both disabled with epilepsy and learning disabilites.

If you go back to one of my earlier posts, I mentioned the institutionalism of playing games / sports to ties in PUBLIC schools. That is how we got this far in this discussion.

We are institutionalizing a behaviour that leads to a vacuum that inherently lacks happiness due to with holding certain experiences for the greater good and protection of everyone, whether they need that protection or not. The equal sharing of misery. Excelling or winning is discouraged as much as possible and in some cases not allowed.

Totally not true.

I could tell you all kinds of stories that illustrate the harmful affects of competitive sports in elementary school.

buzz

Location: up the boohai

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:29pm
hippiechick wrote: Well, you had a much different upbringing than I had. Did your parents say "Well, you really fucked up in that hockey game today! What's wrong with you? Are you stupid or something?" Your parents were failures and should have been labeled as such so that you could have been saved from the hellish life they caused you to have.

kurtster

kurtster Avatar

Location: where fear is not a virtue
Gender: Male

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:25pm

hippiechick wrote:

It's not that they are not PC, they are violent and harmful. Maybe you weren't one of those who would get blasted with a ball by the asshole boys in the class. And you didn't raise kids either, right?

Again, there is nothing wrong with physical competition, if there are rules, if the children are mature enough and have the skills, and the children are in agreement. And mental competition is fine too, for the same reasons. Bt my daughter did not enjoy playing board games, so I certainly never made her.

None of this has anything to do with happiness, btw.

islander

islander Avatar

Location: West coast somewhere
Gender: Male

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:23pm

hippiechick wrote:

That really isn't a determinant of happiness anyway.

I taught my children that life is a journey, you can always change your path if the one you are on isn't working, have plans not expectations, do what will make you happy in life and don't do what makes you unhappy, and what you do does not define who you are.

hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:19pm

islander wrote:

So because your parents were f'ed up, we shouldn't teach kids about success and failure?

Life is going to happen to everyone regardless of what we shield them from in school. Some parents will do a better job than others, some will have better circumstances than others. People from far worse circumstances will manage to succeed as well and will do it with more grace and aplomb than we will. The idea of doing it all along is to show that you can survive failure on a small scale, then build on that knowledge. like it or not, it's all a game - you better understand the rules.

islander

islander Avatar

Location: West coast somewhere
Gender: Male

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:13pm

hippiechick wrote:

Well, you had a much different upbringing than I had. Did your parents say "Well, you really fucked up in that hockey game today! What's wrong with you? Are you stupid or something?"

kurtster

kurtster Avatar

Location: where fear is not a virtue
Gender: Male

Posted: Dec 9, 2012 - 6:10pm

ErikX wrote:

It depends on what type of socialism. Was he referring to Communistic socialism where the state owns all property and means of production? If so I would agree with him. But democratic socialism as practiced in N. Europe has been very successful economically and socially. Indeed, many of those countries rank highest in happiness in the world. Danmark consistently ranks #1 in happiest citizens.

Happiness tops in Denmark, lowest in Togo, study says

How happy is your country? In a report released for the meeting, economists John Helliwell, Richard Layard and Jeffrey Sachs round up what is known about happiness around the globe.

Different groups have asked different questions to measure happiness. In the widest such survey, Gallup asked people to rate their lives from 0 to 10. It found huge differences in global happiness: More than a third of Europeans ranked themselves an 8 or higher. Less than 5% said so in sub-Saharan Africa.

According to polls taken from 2005 to 2011, these were the happiest countries:

Denmark
Finland
Norway
Netherlands
Canada
Switzerland
Sweden
New Zealand
Australia
Ireland

I don't think that this topic is ready for the leap to your point on international levels of happiness. Looking at your list, these countries all have one thing in common. They are / were Monarchies or ruled by Monarchies for the bulk of their existance.

Our Declaration of Independence is a direct reference towards the contempt of Monarchies. Our Constitution is a direct rebuttal towards the ways of Monarchies or dynastical 'benevolent dictators' if you will.

None of these countries listed above have had the same social experience as the US.

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