haresfur wrote: 

 Proclivities wrote: 
They only hire introverts

A new career path frequently requires further education:

 winter wrote: 
Uncivil engineer

 winter wrote: 
Its a sh!tty job but someone has to do it.

 winter wrote: 
  I used to work with a guy who actually had that job back when he was a Seabee in the Navy.   He said that his favorite line to use at the time was "I don't know what you call it lady but it's my bread and butter".

Sign language ventriloquist:

"Yes, Mom, it's a real job. I get paid actual money to do this. What? No. No! Okay, seriously, Mom, what else would you have me do with a marketing degree?" 

Porn movie set designer:

"Who the f*ck cares. No one is looking anyway. I just want it to remain intact long enough to shoot the twelve features we've got scheduled for today." 

Sewage plant designer:

"Everything about my life is sh*t. I hate everything. I hate the world. I hate food, for f*ck's sake! FOOD! Because it just means more sh*tty work!" 

Kitten ostracizer:

"Mittens, no. You are not loved, you are not welcome, and you never will be. Step away from your siblings and return to your box of shame." 

Organ Taster:

"The E's a little flat."  

Ice cream tester:

"The new vanilla bean is great. Creamy, rich, not overpowering, good finish. The raspberry needs work - someone forgot to tell tart to come in with the sweet, and the color is more like blood orange. I'm not sure about this 'roadkill ripple' - maybe it needs more fudge?" 

Library belittler:

"That's not a library. That's what happens when you give a kid some newspapers, some cardboard, and a jar of glue." 

Mosh-pit inspector:

"Hmm. 15% too moshy. Needs more pit by Tuesday or I'm gonna have to shut you down, Mendoza." 

Man-thong rejecter:

"Sir, about your thong? No. No, no. Excuse me, sir, that's a thong, and NO. A thong for you, sir? I think not. Hold on there, mister - that thong is a big fat hairy oh HELL no." 

Graphic novel realisticizer:

"Okay, there is no way She-Beast could stand upright with those things. And she can't possibly have any functioning internal organs with a waist that small. Also her thighs are twice as long as her torso. Have any of you ever actually seen a real, live, in-the-flesh woman?"