Obama' s First 100 Days courtesy of the Onion
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DAY 40: President Obama forwards the link to the new Star Trek movie trailer to the entire staff. Again.
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DAY 39: The Obamas sit silently around their Camp David dining table because Malia forgot to pack Scattergories.
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DAY 38: Uruguayan Ambassador left in blue room all day.
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DAY 37: The West Wing staff enjoys two dozen boxes of Nilla Wafers courtesy of Nabisco after Obama mentions them in a speech.
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DAY 36: Realizing there are 489 people working in the West Wing, Rahm Emanuel tells his secretary to stop buying cupcakes for everybody's birthday.
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DAY 35: Negotiations between the House and Senate versions of the DC Voting Rights bill nearly break down when Senator Arlen Specter insists on keeping his doodle of a three-legged pony in the bill.
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DAY 34: During a difficult moment of a televised address, President Obama debuts the evil-looking sock puppet that will speak on all unpopular matters from now on.
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DAY 33: President Obama still hasn't updated his Twitter account, leaving millions of tweeple tweet-deprived for over a month.
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DAY 32: Vice-President Joe Biden curses HotGunner79 for outbidding him at last minute on 1970's Navy bomber jacket.
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DAY 31: White House Intern David Kimball decides delivering memos to Robert Gibbs counts as "managing critical White House messaging initiatives key to furthering the president's agenda."
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DAY 30: At 3 a.m., President Obama sends Judd Gregg a group photo of his Cabinet, just so he knows what he's missing.
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DAY 29: A nervous Canada accidentally offers to be annexed during Obama's first foreign visit.
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DAY 28: Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner's wife has taken to calling him the Trillion Dollar Man during sex.
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DAY 27: Interior Secretary Ken Salazar is still feeling out the White House policy on nudity.
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DAY 26: After receiving the fifth gift of its kind in as many weeks, Obama half-heartedly nails another African mask to the Oval Office wall.
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DAY 25: Obama enjoys a quiet, candlelight dinner with Michelle and South Korean Prime Minister Han Seung-soo.
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DAY 24: President Obama asks the visiting Estonian president if he wouldn't mind pretending to be Vladimir Putin for a second so he can practice for the Russian prime minister's big visit tomorrow.
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DAY 23: Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano awkwardly enters the Oval Office while President Obama is doing his Napolitano impersonation.
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DAY 22: President Obama asks aides to alert him immediately if the Mutant Registration Act is introduced in Congress.
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DAY 21: For the third time, the Joint Chiefs of Staff ask President Obama not to leave fantasy miniatures on war map.
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DAY 20: Joe Biden clears his schedule to oversee the installation of four video poker machines in the Naval Observatory.
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DAY 19: After a tense afternoon holed up in the Situation Room, President Obama finally locates that old pack of Lyndon Johnson's Benson & Hedges.
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DAY 18: In one of many historic firsts, Barack Obama becomes the first black president to TiVo MythBusters.
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DAY 17: Hillary Clinton meets with Haitian president René Préval, who demands U.S. provide Haiti a sandwich by 2010.
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DAY 16: Obama's "First 100 Days Dilbert Desk Calendar" still on day five.
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DAY 15: Eighty-eight-year-old Justice John Paul Stevens informs the Obama administration of his decision to die in office, effective Mar. 1.
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DAY 14: Taco Tuesday
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DAY 13: President Obama meets with Vermont governor Jim Douglas and is saddened to find that he is not the creator of Garfield.
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DAY 12: A nice little lazy Sunday for the president. Maybe read a book, watch a movie, whatever.
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DAY 11: Director of the White House Office of Management and Budget reads former director of the White House Office of Management and Budget's memoirs.
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DAY 10: Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Donovan wonders if they mean "urban" like "city" or "urban" like "black."
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DAY 9: Impressionist Rich Little sits in a bathrobe on the floor of his one-bedroom apartment trying to figure out how to say "I am not a crook" like Barack Obama.
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DAY 8: Rahm Emanuel's "open door" policy is severely tested by political director Patrick Gaspard's repeated claims that someone is taking Splenda packets from the jar on his desk.
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DAY 7: After figuring out a comprehensive solution for the economic crisis in a dream, President Obama issues an executive order requisitioning a fleet of freight liners and 147,000 tons of eggplant.
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DAY 6: Joe Biden spends the day sitting on a couch in the Oval Office, saying he "just wants to watch."
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DAY 5: Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack spends another day worried that his unanimous confirmation means people have forgotten what a hell-raiser he was as mayor of Mount Pleasant, IA.
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DAY 4: Former treasury secretary Henry Paulson is discovered sleeping next to the boiler in the White House basement.
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DAY 3: Obama takes a few minutes to fill out the change of address card for his Popular Mechanics subscription.
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DAY 2: Suddenly everyone in the Roosevelt Room looks around and realizes: yes, this will be the seating arrangement for the next four years.
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DAY 1: In one of his first acts as president, Obama begins the process of closing down the CIA prisons that he knows about.
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