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maryte

maryte Avatar

Location: Blinding You With Library Science!
Gender: Female

Posted: Aug 2, 2009 - 12:31pm

Steve wrote:

OK, here is the revised ad. Whaddya think?

————————————————————————————————————————————

Experienced Pool Cleaning Technician Needed. West side area is available right now (35 to 40 stops from South Buckeye to North Peoria, including some work in central Phoenix).

We have worked extremely hard to build our reputation as one of the best, and we only seek those that can show up every day and do a quality job for our Customers. Reliability is mandatory in the Pool Service business, and we will reward your quality workmanship and consistency with just about the highest rate per pool in the valley.

• Buy a hat and some sunscreen; this is hard work in the HOT Arizona weather!
• Minimum one year of verifiable experience, although training on our methods will be provided.
• Be ready for a test of your skills. (Example: explain the saturation index)
• Independent Subcontractor position, paid by the pool. (Form 1099)
• Opportunity for extra income performing repairs and cleanups.
• You must have a reliable, respectable looking pickup truck with insurance.
• You supply all tools (pole, net, brush, test kit, etc).
• Company supplies all chemicals and consumables.
• Liability insurance to be provided by subcontractor by the time you start.
• Documentation of your work is mandatory.

Help our Company grow, and you will be rewarded!

Although I appreciated the snark factor in your first draft, I do agree that this is a much more positive ad, which will be more likely to attract positive employees. I also think mentioning company growth is a good thing, as in this current economic environment, most folks would prefer to work for a going concern than a fly-by-night operation.

jadewahoo

jadewahoo Avatar

Location: Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica
Gender: Male

Posted: Aug 2, 2009 - 12:27pm

Steve wrote:

Help our Company grow, and you will be rewarded!

Excellent! Now here is a person I would be willing to work for... errr... that is, if I were ever willing to hire myself out.

Steve

Location: Around My Corner... and Up Yours
Gender: Male

Posted: Aug 2, 2009 - 12:17pm

Help our Company grow, and you will be rewarded!

katzendogs

katzendogs Avatar

Location: Pasadena ,Texas
Gender: Male

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 7:57pm
I fucked up a big job today. I'll take the job. I learn quickly, understand pH levels, and will not harass the ladies...much.

Leslie

Leslie Avatar

Location: Antioch, CA
Gender: Female

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 7:36pm

I agree with Hippiechick and I think her rewrite is excellent. I understand your frustration, believe me, I've had to deal with an incompetent junior production artist for the past 5 years, but I think it's best to put a positive spin on things.

The part about expecting hard work in the hot sun is perfectly reasonable and I wouldn't change that part.

I wish you the best of luck in finding the right person to add to your staff.

cookinlover

cookinlover Avatar

Location: Auckland, New Zealand (former Boston native and Atlanta transplant)
Gender: Male

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 7:14pm

Steve wrote:

Thank you - all of you - for your input. I wrote that ad within 15 minutes of receiving an angry phone call from a prized customer. My tone was fueled by an avalanche of negative energy due to the loss of a customer.

This cancellation was due to the actions (actually the lack of) of a person that I have given every opportunity to succeed. I gave him hands on, side-by-side training, compliments on quality work, and respectful assistance when he got off track. I paid to have my truck that I let him borrow bailed out of impound when it was towed due to a warrant on him, discovered during a traffic stop. I gave him advances in pay, paid for his vehicle insurance, and a gave him a crisp $100 bill as a first day bonus. He made a promise to the customer, flaked out, and I took the heat. All he had to do was call me or the customer to reschedule, and there would have been no problem. This is not his first major screw up, and I have reached my limit - he will be replaced.

I will change the ad. I agree that if that was published as-is, it will have the opposite effect of my intentions. I seek quality people, so I need to portray professionalism.

Thanks again...

How Brave Are YOU? {#Clap}

Steve

Location: Around My Corner... and Up Yours
Gender: Male

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 4:55pm

Exit2Eden

Exit2Eden Avatar

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 1:45pm

Steve wrote:

I'm getting ready to post a job listing on CraigsList, and I thought I'd post it here first for an RPeep critique. As you can tell from the tone of the ad, I'm a bit disgusted with the revolving door of flaky workers that have held back the growth of my company, but fer chrissakes, there's GOT to be someone out there that wants to work hard.

I'm not a wordsmith, I'm an expert in the pool business. Will I get the ideal candidate with vim and vinegar, or do I need to re-word this thing?

Experienced Pool Cleaning Technician Needed. West side area is available right now (35 to 40 stops from South Buckeye to North Peoria, including some work in central Phoenix).

This ad is brutally honest due to past experience with liars and thieves that have damaged our Company. It is so sad that honest, hard working people are extremely hard to find - even with the high unemployment rate. Reliability is mandatory in the Pool Service business, and we only seek those that can show up every day and do a quality job for our Customers. We pay just about the highest rate per pool in the valley.

Read the list below - ALL of it!

• Minimum one year of verifiable experience, although training on our methods will be provided.
• Be ready for a test of your skills. (Example: explain the saturation index)
• Independent Subcontractor position, paid by the pool. (Form 1099)
• Opportunity for extra income performing repairs and cleanups.
• You must have a reliable, respectable looking pickup truck with insurance. No junkers allowed.
• You supply all tools (pole, net, brush, test kit, etc)
• Company supplies all chemicals and consumables.
• No whiners allowed. This is hard work in the HOT Arizona weather.
• Liability insurance to be provided by subcontractor by the time you start.
• Must be able to write legibly, documentation of your work is mandatory.
• Must be able to communicate professionally with our customers.
• If you speak in grunts and clicks, move on to a fast food job please.

Help our Company grow, and you will be rewarded!

From an EEO point of view, this is rife with the potential for disparate impact, which could lead to a claim of employment discrimination. For example, what do you mean by "grunts and clicks"? Does this rule out someone with a legitimate speech disability, or someone who speaks English as a second language? How does someone's speech and/or native language prevent them from being able to perform the essential functions of the job (cleaning pools in a satisfactory manner). How do you define "communicating professionally"? Why does the actual method of transportation matter, as long as they GET there with the appropriate tools? How will you rule out "the whiners"? {#Ask}

jadewahoo

jadewahoo Avatar

Location: Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica
Gender: Male

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 11:26am

Steve wrote:

Experienced Pool Cleaning Technician Needed. West side area is available right now (35 to 40 stops from South Buckeye to North Peoria, including some work in central Phoenix).

Read the list below - ALL of it!

• Minimum one year of verifiable experience, although training on our methods will be provided.
• Be ready for a test of your skills. (Example: explain the saturation index)
• Independent Subcontractor position, paid by the pool. (Form 1099)
• Opportunity for extra income performing repairs and cleanups.
• You must have a reliable, respectable looking pickup truck with insurance. No junkers allowed.
• You supply all tools (pole, net, brush, test kit, etc)
• Company supplies all chemicals and consumables.
• No whiners allowed. This is hard work in the HOT Arizona weather.
• Liability insurance to be provided by subcontractor by the time you start.
• Must be able to write legibly, documentation of your work is mandatory.
• Must be able to communicate professionally with our customers.
• If you speak in grunts and clicks, move on to a fast food job please.

Help our Company grow, and you will be rewarded!

I have never been employed in all my adult life; a matter of choice, self-responsibility and hard work being the factors which have enabled me this esteemed position.

Having read your request for employees, I am glad of my choice. Your ad is filled with negativity, an undercurrent of mistrust and prejudice. You might want to apply the 'standards' you are requesting of others to yourself, especially the highlighted requirements.

Manbird

Manbird Avatar

Location: La Villa Toscana
Gender: Male

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 11:13am
Steve wrote: Yes, you are right. That is a bit harsh. The thing about your original draft, steve, is that it's likely to get flagged off craigslist. I'm a CL regular and I know from experience that ads with a negative overtones don't stay up very long (in the bay area, anyway) But I wish you luck finding the right employee!

jagdriver

jagdriver Avatar

Location: Now in Lobster Land
Gender: Male

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 10:22am
hippiechick wrote: You're right. I was thinking and typing, but not both at the same time! And I was doing a quick skim....

lily34

lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 10:22am
hippiechick wrote: You're right. I was thinking and typing, but not both at the same time! it can be HARD to do both at the same time

hippiechick

hippiechick Avatar

Location: topsy turvy land
Gender: Female

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 10:20am
lily34 wrote: i think you mean responsIBLE (not responsibility) and YOU will be compensated with the highest rate OR we will be compensatING with the highest rate. just my two cents. You're right. I was thinking and typing, but not both at the same time!

Steve

Location: Around My Corner... and Up Yours
Gender: Male

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 10:08am
BillJ wrote: I assume that there will be an interview, so putting this in is unnecessary. Many who speak poorly probably don't realize it. Yes, you are right. That is a bit harsh.

Steve

Location: Around My Corner... and Up Yours
Gender: Male

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 10:06am

handyrae wrote:

Hi Steve,

This ad makes you sound like a horrible, micro-managing, find-fault-in-everything boss, my-way-or-the-highway kind of boss. If you're not, I'd definitely re-word the ad — see hippie chicks suggestions. If you are — well then that is probably the main reason you keep losing employees.

That's my two cents and keep in mind I've never been a pool cleaner, although I'd love to hire one!

I am not losing employees, I part company with people that hurt my business due to their inability to do a simple job correctly, or lie about their actions.

I have three other workers that know me well enough to be blunt with me if I am not respectful. These guys are the hard working professionals I seek to clone. If I was the horrible boss you portray, they would be long gone and I would be the one flipping burgers.

I understand that I am hiring real humans, and not machines. I give people many chances to redeem themselves when they screw up. My limit is reached when I lose customers, and then it's simply a matter of "your services are no longer needed, you do not meet the quality standards I seek".

To me, it makes no sense to abuse and micromanage.

jagdriver

jagdriver Avatar

Location: Now in Lobster Land
Gender: Male

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 9:59am
lily34 wrote: i think you mean responsIBLE (not responsibility) and YOU will be compensated with the highest rate OR we will be compensatING with the highest rate. just my two cents. Yup.

lily34

lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 9:54am

hippiechick wrote:

i think you mean

responsIBLE (not responsibility)

and

YOU will be compensated with the highest rate OR we will be compensatING with the highest rate.

just my two cents.

jagdriver

jagdriver Avatar

Location: Now in Lobster Land
Gender: Male

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 9:42am

hippiechick wrote:

Instead of saying this:
This ad is brutally honest due to past experience with liars and thieves that have damaged our Company. It is so sad that honest, hard working people are extremely hard to find - even with the high unemployment rate. Reliability is mandatory in the Pool Service business, and we only seek those that can show up every day and do a quality job for our Customers. We pay just about the highest rate per pool in the valley.

Say:
We are a company that is proud of our reputation, and we hire only those who are ready and willing to give their best. Show us that you are reliable, highly qualified, and responsibility, and we will be compensated with the highest rate...

These comments are also extremely negative:
• No whiners allowed. This is hard work in the HOT Arizona weather.
• If you speak in grunts and clicks, move on to a fast food job please.

REmember, your clients may read the ad, and you will not attract high quality employees if they think that their boss is in a-hole, which is how you come off here. I can understand your frustration, because there are a lot of f-ups out there, and I imagine that a lot are attracted to this kind of work, but you want to be professional.

Well, I am a long-term wordsmith and seasoned business pro. That said, I'm in full agreement with hippiechick.

Having spent 10 years in Scottsdale, I can fully empathize with your difficulty in finding suitable help, however.

Coaxial

Coaxial Avatar

Location: Comfortably numb in So Texas
Gender: Male

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 9:42am

Steve wrote:

Looks good.

BillJ

Location: just far enough away from NYC
Gender: Male

Posted: Jul 31, 2009 - 9:41am
Steve wrote: • If you speak in grunts and clicks, move on to a fast food job please. I assume that there will be an interview, so putting this in is unnecessary. Many who speak poorly probably don't realize it.

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