If she can get crowned Miss Wyoming...Scott, you've got a better than even chance. What's the entry fee? Should we take up a collection?

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

This part is too rich to let go by:

McKinney tracked him down to Surrey, England. With the help of an accomplice, she held him up with a toy pistol, used chloroform on him and drove him 200 miles to a honeymoon cottage in southeast England, chained him to a bed using mink-lined handcuffs, and for two days read him the Bible while trying to persuade him to marry her.

That didn't work, so she and her accomplice tied him spread-eagled on the bed and she assaulted him three times.

So it's either the Bible, or I screw your brains out.

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

You want scary, how about the gnome-lady from yesterday's news?

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

So it's either the Bible, or I screw your brains out.

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

theres a rumor in the neighborhood that the gnome is really her illegitimate son. remember that "vacation" she took when she was 15?

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?

You want scary, how about the gnome-lady from yesterday's news?

Nice shot of Nancy and Ronald Reagan.

You want scary, how about the gnome-lady from yesterday's news?

Only Cackalackians are allowed to call it Cackalacky. ;)
Scary broad.

Only Cackalackians are allowed to call it Cackalacky.  ;)
Scary broad. 

It's impossible to summarize this story well, but if I said it's about a North Cackalacky woman who moved to Wyoming and was crowned Miss Wyoming (World) then kidnapped a Mormon missionary in London, skipped bail, changed her name, and was last seen in Korea picking up the product of the world's first commercial dog cloning, a clone of her pit bull, Booger, well would that be enough?