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Name My Band - oldviolin - Jun 21, 2021 - 9:30pm
 
Live Music - oldviolin - Jun 21, 2021 - 9:26pm
 
Chicago 25 Or 6 To 4 - kurtster - Jun 21, 2021 - 9:18pm
 
2020 Elections - Manbird - Jun 21, 2021 - 7:46pm
 
What Makes You Laugh? - Coaxial - Jun 21, 2021 - 7:17pm
 
what the hell, miamizsun? - miamizsun - Jun 21, 2021 - 3:20pm
 
• • • The Once-a-Day • • •  - oldviolin - Jun 21, 2021 - 1:51pm
 
If not RP, what are you listening to right now? - Steely_D - Jun 21, 2021 - 12:11pm
 
Poetry Forum - Steely_D - Jun 21, 2021 - 12:09pm
 
RP App for Android - krilok - Jun 21, 2021 - 8:49am
 
Lyrics That Remind You of Someone - oldviolin - Jun 21, 2021 - 8:21am
 
• • • BRING OUT YOUR DEAD • • •  - oldviolin - Jun 21, 2021 - 8:20am
 
Remembering Duane Allman - oldviolin - Jun 21, 2021 - 8:14am
 
Radio Paradise Comments - GeneP59 - Jun 21, 2021 - 8:12am
 
Counting with Pictures - Proclivities - Jun 21, 2021 - 8:12am
 
Things You Thought Today - oldviolin - Jun 21, 2021 - 8:07am
 
Vinyl Only Spin List - kurtster - Jun 21, 2021 - 7:06am
 
King Crimson - ColdMiser - Jun 21, 2021 - 6:55am
 
Positive Thoughts and Prayer Requests - Coaxial - Jun 20, 2021 - 8:03pm
 
Movie quotes used as life's truisms - KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 20, 2021 - 5:35pm
 
Mixtape Culture Club - KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 20, 2021 - 5:24pm
 
YouTube: Music-Videos - KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 20, 2021 - 5:21pm
 
The Grateful Dead - Ohmsen - Jun 20, 2021 - 2:34pm
 
Race in America - R_P - Jun 20, 2021 - 2:29pm
 
songs that ROCK! - Ohmsen - Jun 20, 2021 - 1:00pm
 
Mozart Reincarnated - Too Many Notes - Ohmsen - Jun 19, 2021 - 11:39pm
 
In the Know - ScottN - Jun 19, 2021 - 6:05pm
 
Graphic designers, ho! - Coaxial - Jun 19, 2021 - 4:48pm
 
Great drummers - JrzyTmata - Jun 19, 2021 - 10:17am
 
Jazz - Proclivities - Jun 19, 2021 - 9:21am
 
Today in History - Red_Dragon - Jun 19, 2021 - 6:19am
 
The Obituary Page - Ohmsen - Jun 18, 2021 - 11:34pm
 
COVID-19 - R_P - Jun 18, 2021 - 10:29pm
 
Play the Blues - oldviolin - Jun 18, 2021 - 6:42pm
 
RP app for MacBook Pro 16 not compatible? - gtufano - Jun 18, 2021 - 11:29am
 
Music documentaries - R_P - Jun 18, 2021 - 10:37am
 
Great Old Songs You Rarely Hear Anymore - Proclivities - Jun 18, 2021 - 9:23am
 
Republican Party - rgio - Jun 18, 2021 - 5:34am
 
Country Up The Bumpkin - oldviolin - Jun 17, 2021 - 6:52pm
 
Climate Change - Red_Dragon - Jun 17, 2021 - 6:32pm
 
Derplahoma! - Red_Dragon - Jun 17, 2021 - 4:27pm
 
OBAMACARE - Lazy8 - Jun 17, 2021 - 4:12pm
 
Pernicious Pious Proclivities Particularized Prodigiously - Red_Dragon - Jun 17, 2021 - 2:53pm
 
How to stop autopaly in iOS - gtufano - Jun 17, 2021 - 2:51pm
 
New Music - R_P - Jun 17, 2021 - 1:50pm
 
Talk Behind Their Backs Forum - VV - Jun 17, 2021 - 10:13am
 
Post your favorite 'You Tube' Videos Here - Red_Dragon - Jun 17, 2021 - 10:06am
 
Cryptic Posts - Leave Them Guessing - oldviolin - Jun 17, 2021 - 9:17am
 
Media Bias - sirdroseph - Jun 17, 2021 - 4:50am
 
Museum Of Bad Album Covers - yuel - Jun 17, 2021 - 12:25am
 
Putin Owns Trump - rgio - Jun 16, 2021 - 2:31pm
 
Joe Biden - R_P - Jun 16, 2021 - 12:14pm
 
Evolution! - R_P - Jun 16, 2021 - 9:56am
 
Last gas price paid? - NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jun 16, 2021 - 4:43am
 
Trump Lies™ - kcar - Jun 15, 2021 - 7:02pm
 
bummed - Red_Dragon - Jun 15, 2021 - 3:50pm
 
Trump - R_P - Jun 15, 2021 - 1:52pm
 
Insane-looking Lawyers - rhahl - Jun 15, 2021 - 11:55am
 
Military Matters - Red_Dragon - Jun 15, 2021 - 5:04am
 
What Did You See Today? - KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 14, 2021 - 5:27pm
 
What Did You Do Today? - KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 14, 2021 - 5:25pm
 
DQ (as in 'Daily Quote') - oldviolin - Jun 14, 2021 - 4:39pm
 
• • • Clownstock • • •  - kcar - Jun 14, 2021 - 3:25pm
 
The Global War on Terror - Ohmsen - Jun 14, 2021 - 2:40pm
 
Bad Poetry - GeneP59 - Jun 14, 2021 - 2:13pm
 
The war on funk is over! - rhahl - Jun 14, 2021 - 12:41pm
 
It's fine - Lazy8 - Jun 14, 2021 - 7:42am
 
punk? hip-hop? metal? noise? garage? - rhahl - Jun 14, 2021 - 5:53am
 
What is the meaning of this? - rhahl - Jun 14, 2021 - 5:32am
 
The Geek Thread - Proclivities - Jun 14, 2021 - 5:04am
 
2022 Elections - haresfur - Jun 14, 2021 - 12:33am
 
Graphs, Charts & Maps - R_P - Jun 13, 2021 - 9:05pm
 
Kodi Addon - Ohmsen - Jun 13, 2021 - 2:40pm
 
China - R_P - Jun 13, 2021 - 2:31pm
 
Lounge - Chill-Out - Down-Tempo - Steely_D - Jun 13, 2021 - 1:45pm
 
Index » Radio Paradise/General » General Discussion » Quotes: Your Favorite Comedians Page: Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next
Post to this Topic
justlistening

justlistening Avatar

Location: So. California
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 10, 2010 - 4:47pm

Bob Newhart on Country Music

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for those who like country music, denigrate means to "put down."

Rodney Dangerfield

-My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
-My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.


oldviolin

oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 10, 2010 - 4:13pm

"Hello, this is Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.
Did you know that the majority of all dead people are Jewish? That's right.
So if you persecute Jews when you're alive, boy are you going to get it...when you're dead."

Written By John Belushi and Brian Doyle-Murray
Performed by Harvey Friedberg and Gilda Radner
From National Lampoon Gold Turkey
Proclivities

Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 9, 2010 - 12:50pm

"I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bulls*it." - Mel Brooks


Manbird

Manbird Avatar

Location: Krakatoa, East of Java
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 8, 2010 - 10:31am

“Today marks a lot of tragedy. … Tragedy comes in threesPearl Harbor, Elizabeth Edwards’s passing and Barack Obama’s announcement of extending the tax cuts, which is good, but also extending the unemployment benefits.”

- Christine O’Donnell 


Proclivities

Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male


Posted: Sep 8, 2010 - 12:40pm

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table — there's nothing wrong with them but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
 -
Garrison Keillor
Proclivities

Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 8, 2009 - 9:05am

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.  - Woody Allen
jadewahoo

jadewahoo Avatar

Location: Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 9:49pm

 manbirdexperiment wrote:
"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' 

 
She said that 4 times? Has her level of productivity improved? Is Obama's Death Panel something akin to the Death Star? Or would it fit on my Woody?

Xeric

Xeric Avatar

Location: Montana
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 7:59pm

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:

A former governor and one-time VP candidate.
 
Okay. . . . seems an odd post from someone who surely seems to be among those who'd benefit from some sort of government-run insurance program. . . .

(Like me, at many times in my life.  Not meaning to rub anybody the wrong way, here.  Just don't get it.  Shall we see just how far afield this thread can get?  {#Lol} )

EDIT:  Okay, NOW I get it—AND think it's funny!  Sheesh.

Manbird

Manbird Avatar

Location: Krakatoa, East of Java
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 7:58pm

 Xeric wrote:
Odd comedy, there, Rob.  By whom? 
 
Sarah Palin - One of my favorites. 
ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 7:56pm

 Xeric wrote:
Odd comedy, there, Rob.  By whom? 

 
A former governor and one-time VP candidate.

katzendogs

katzendogs Avatar

Location: Pasadena ,Texas
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 7:53pm

 Coaxial wrote:


He was talking about his arrest in Florida...They found 7/8ths of a gram of marijuana in my bag...I don't know about you but when I have 7/8ths of a gram of marijuana, I'm out of marijuana...

 
I'll miss him.

Xeric

Xeric Avatar

Location: Montana
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 7:52pm

Odd comedy, there, Rob.  By whom? 
Manbird

Manbird Avatar

Location: Krakatoa, East of Java
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 7:50pm

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' 
Manbird

Manbird Avatar

Location: Krakatoa, East of Java
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 7:50pm

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' 
Manbird

Manbird Avatar

Location: Krakatoa, East of Java
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 7:50pm

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' 
Manbird

Manbird Avatar

Location: Krakatoa, East of Java
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 7:49pm

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' 
Coaxial

Coaxial Avatar

Location: 543 miles west of Paradis,1491 miles eas
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 7:24pm

 Hairfarmer wrote:
Ron White on an Atlanta morning show:

Ron - "Well, I live in California. I'm legal there. I'm a registered medical marijuana patient."
DJ -   "What condition do you have?"
Ron - "I get reeaally depressed...
when I run out of weed."
 

He was talking about his arrest in Florida...They found 7/8ths of a gram of marijuana in my bag...I don't know about you but when I have 7/8ths of a gram of marijuana, I'm out of marijuana...
Red_Dragon

Red_Dragon Avatar



Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 7:17pm

 ptooey wrote:
“I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. It’s a strange piece of machinery . . . We will take the chicken, kill it, impale it, and then rotate it. And I’ll be damned if I’m not hungry! Because spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water! I like dizzy chicken. With a side of potatoes of some sort.”

 

- Mitch Hedberg

 
{#Roflol}

oldviolin

oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 7, 2009 - 7:06pm

"If either the right wing or the left wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles."
Pat Paulsen
NoEnzLefttoSplit

NoEnzLefttoSplit Avatar

Gender: Male


Posted: May 10, 2009 - 2:43pm

 smokinsean wrote:
"I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth."

-Bill hicks
 
There's a great cartoon from Leunig (who is internet averse to say the least so I can't find it anywhere)

two beggars on a street corner, one on each side of the building.
The first has a sign saying "I'm blind" and a cup out for loose change
the other has a sign saying, "I can see".

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