oldviolin wrote: 
In Cookie's shower it's a pee hole...

 oldviolin wrote: 
Yes, for some.

 cookinlover wrote: 

Is that a peep hole? Because if it is...

hey! you said that twice. you rebel rule breaker!

 meower wrote: 

''I have been sexually rejected by not one, but two guys who later went to clown college. I get super nervous whenever I hear a vacuum cleaner because when I was a kid my mom used to turn on the vacuum to drown out the sound of her and my dad fighting, which is why I rarely vacuum my apartment, like never. I have had three donuts so far today. Once in college, I pooped my pants a little bit at a Country Steaks all-you-can-eat buffet and I didn't leave until I finished my second plate of shrimp. A couple months ago, I went on a date with my cousin. Wow... I am a mess. There is an 80% chance in the next election that I will tell all my friends that I'm voting for Barack Obama but I will secretly vote for John McCain. Here's one, when I was a kid I used to put on my fanciest nightgown and then I would mix orange soda and cream soda in a champagne glass and sit in the dark and watch The Love Boat. Consequently, I have some weird sexual fantasy stuff about Gopher from The Love Boat. And I lied, I have had five donuts today.''
- Liz Lemon

Once you choose hope, anything's possible.
Christopher Reeve

 phineas wrote: 
Such is the life of a Grout Shaolin, Grasshopper.

 cookinlover wrote: 
Making everything bright and new? Awwww....and you act like you don't care.

 phineas wrote: 
You're right... I guess I was thinking more about similar mannerisms.

 cookinlover wrote: 
You unfortunate smear of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! That doesn't look that much like me.

 cookinlover wrote: 
Hey, there it is!  That's what a groutfloat looks like!

A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm
The show begins and the comedian comes out for his first show of the evening
The comedian says "A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm
The show begins and the comedian comes out for his second show of the evening.
The show begins and the comedian says "A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm"
Just then a man in the front row stands up and says "I think I've heard this before"
The comedian says "Well maybe you caught my first show of the evening"
The man says "No, I just walked in here"
The comedian says "Well it was a guy looked just like you walked in with a beautiful girl on his arm could have been your twin brother"
The man says "My twin brother's dead"
The comedian says "What is this, a wake?"
The man says "I don't have to stand for this"
And he stands up and he walks outside
And the comedian says "Are you out there? I can hear you breathing."
The man says "I'm holding my breath"
The comedian says "Well I'm holding you wife"
Just then the man says "That's not my wife"
And he walks back into the nightclub with another beautiful girl on his arm
"Who's that lady I'm seeing you with" the comedian says
The man says "This is my wife. That other lady is my dead twin brother's wife
You can take her if you want her"
And the comedian says "Not unless you say please"
Just then, a man walks into a nightclub with a tatoo of a beautiful girl on his arm eating elbow macaroni.
The comedian says "Is that girl from Italy?"
The man says "No just hungry"
Just then a man walks into the nightclub, he comes riding into the nightclub, on a pony, with a feather stuck into his hat
"What do you call that?" the comedian asks
"An entrance" the man says "But forget that"
Just give me a beer and give my pony a jockey"
The bartender says "I think that pony's had enough already"
"Well make it a short jockey" the man says
"And while you're at it give that lady's lawyer some briefs"
The lady stands up and says "I can defend myself, your Honor"
And the lawyer says "But I'll defend her honor, your Honor"
The judge says "Well on her or off her, make up your mind"
The comic says "Definitely on her, that's the best offer I've had all day"
"Well take it or leave it" says the Judge
"Couldn't we just drop it?" says the comedian
He says "You better drop leaflets before you bomb"
And the comedian says "I'm already bombing"
He says "Maybe it's your material"
He says "You don't think it fits?"
He says "Well it could be let out a little"
The comedian says "How much do you think it will cost me?"
He says "It'll cost you an arm and a leg"
The comic says "Well listen, could you put it on the cuff?"
The tailor says "I'll tell you what I'll do. We'll forget the leg and I'll just charge you an arm"
And a beautiful arm it is
"OK" says the comedian and the tailor cuts off the comedian's arm and gives him the suit
The tailor calls his girlfriend and asks her to go out on the town with him in order to celebrate
He calls on his girlfriend and gives her the beautiful arm as a gift
She wears it around her neck just like a stole and they go out on the town
The man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful arm on his girl
The show begins and the one-armed comedian comes out for his last show of the evening.
He does his act, and the audience stands up and gives him a hand

Brian Doyle-Murray