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Bob Rivers — What if God Smoked Cannabis?
Album: Twisted Tunes Vol 2
Avg rating:
5.6

Your rating:
Total ratings: 141









Released: 1995
Length: 2:37
Plays (last 30 days): 0
If God had long hair
And a goatee,
And if his eyes looked pretty glazed...
If He looked spaced out
Would you buy his story?
Would you believe he had an eye infection?
And yeah, yeah, God he looks baked
And yeah, yeah, God He smells good,
And yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah...
What if God smoked cannabis?
Hit the bung like some of us?
Drove a tie-dyed microbus,
And he subscribed to Rolling Stone?
When God made this place,
In the beginning,
Did He plant any seeds?
Or did he put them there for Adam and Eve,
So they'd be hungry for the apple that the snake
Was always offering?
And yeah, yeah... God rolls great,
And yeah, yeah, God he smells good,
And yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah...
What if God smoked cannabis?
Do you suppose he had a buzz
When he made the platypus
When he created earth, our home?
Does He like Pearl Jam or the Stones?
And do you think He rolls His own
Up there in heaven on the throne?
And when the saints go marching home,
Does he just sit and smoke a bone?
Comments (88)add comment
Butthurt relgio-types.  More please.
 jennyole wrote:
OMG am I in Jr. High again- please no more of this. Rather listen to Cheech & Chong again. Sister Mary Elephant. that's funny

 
I KNOW!  UGGGH.  Stoners have such juvenile humor. And they eat BIZARRE thing, which they think is hilarious.   Ever notice how they love to sit and watch cartoons and eat shit like Captain crunch or Fritos all day?  I once watched a bunch of baked idiots make a MEAL out of saltines and condiments—ketchup, mustard, BBQ sauce—at 3 AM, after smoking weed all night.  I. REST. MY. CASE.


The very premise of an all-enlightened power beyond hunan comprehension needing or desiring to alter its reality for the sake of fun and diversion is preposterous!

This hackneyed parody is based on so flawed a premise that even this guy, no stranger to cannabis, finds it too absurd on its face to be anything other than suck-o-barf-o. Worst song on RP. Categorically. 
 LowPhreak wrote:

Only religious nutjobs would not think it's funny.

 
Wrong.  I'm NOT a religious nutjob.  Not religious at all.  Just don't think it's funny. It's stupid. Newsflash:  Chronic stoners are just as annoying and stupid as chronic alcoholics, and I have smoked weed occasionally, and I do drink. I just make it a point not to flaunt it all over the place because NOBODY thinks you're awesome because you can flick a bic and blaze one or ten.  Not even other stoners.  They just want to share your weed.  Quit smoking and see how many friends you have.  #stonersarefickleasfuck
 LowPhreak wrote:

Only religious nutjobs would not think it's funny.

 
Exactly!  The perma raging religious nut-jobbers are out in force pretending not to be perma raging but we all know they are.
S T U P I D.  I'm all for legalizing, and I don't care if people use, but I get so sick of the stoner rhetoric.  You smoke weed?  WHO GIVES A SHIT?
 
Did Weird Al produce this? :-)
 zborgerd wrote:
Only stoners would think this crap is funny.
 
Only religious nutjobs would not think it's funny.
OMG am I in Jr. High again- please no more of this. Rather listen to Cheech & Chong again. Sister Mary Elephant. that's funny
Never heard this before and I think it's hilarious! 
yes {#Frown}FunkyZen wrote:
Sucks really, really bad.
 


God-awful
Aha!  The god botherers are out and voting 1.  Their poor, little all powerful god can't take a joke.
Really?
Bob Rivers rocks. Play some of his classic christmas tunes.
omigod! THANKS for this! the real song is SOOOO lame, even for an agnostic like me... and i otherwise LIKE j.o....
this is a retarded cover of a retarded song. once is tolerable - but i've heard this more than once.
Only stoners would think this crap is funny.
Yes novelty songs run old real quick, but damn, this one made me laugh out loud. And yes she does, we rolled on last night right before sitting down to a movie!
Eul0gy wrote:
By far, the best thing to come out of SNL in the last 20 years. not to mention one of the best re-writes of a bad song ever.
They used this on SNL? Guess it wouldn't surprise me, but just for people wondering, Bob Rivers is a local DJ in Seattle. He's been doing these parodies for years and has several CDs. There's at least 4 Christmas CDs out alone. Basically like Weird Al except he tries to find people that sound like the original singer. They have one guy that does a near perfect Bon Scott from AC/DC. This isn't one of my favorites of his.
which way to church?
This old foagy is trying to say "Amen, I also liked the original" while trying to figure tag lines, emoticons, etc. HayesJ TreborG2 wrote:
Hey now..... :iamwith: just because it questions when the holiest of holys made you... ;) Seriously.. I liked the original.. this I find irritating only because it wouldn't have been ANYTHING without the other song.. it couldn't have stood on its own merrits.. perhaps if done by Weird Al, with an accordian... maybe then it would have been funnier.. but as it is.. sung seriously and only for shock value ... I find just plain 'tupid .... 'tupid is when its so stupid you miss pronouncing the s.
Sucks really, really bad.
TreborG2 wrote:
Hey now..... :iamwith: just because it questions when the holiest of holys made you... ;) Seriously.. I liked the original.. this I find irritating only because it wouldn't have been ANYTHING without the other song.. it couldn't have stood on its own merrits.. perhaps if done by Weird Al, with an accordian... maybe then it would have been funnier.. but as it is.. sung seriously and only for shock value ... I find just plain 'tupid .... 'tupid is when its so stupid you miss pronouncing the s.
Junk
mafe wrote:
Doesn't he? :-k
My thoughts too... except I was thinking, "Doesn't she?"
Boring, boring one-joke song. This novelty crap gets played WAY too much!
made me laugh. that's worth a bunch in my book.
Platypus wrote:
almost as bad as the original.
Hey, at least it's an improvement.
Platypus wrote:
almost as bad as the original.
Hey now..... :iamwith: just because it questions when the holiest of holys made you... ;) Seriously.. I liked the original.. this I find irritating only because it wouldn't have been ANYTHING without the other song.. it couldn't have stood on its own merrits.. perhaps if done by Weird Al, with an accordian... maybe then it would have been funnier.. but as it is.. sung seriously and only for shock value ... I find just plain 'tupid .... 'tupid is when its so stupid you miss pronouncing the s.
Doesn't he? :-k
By far, the best thing to come out of SNL in the last 20 years. not to mention one of the best re-writes of a bad song ever.
Let's stick to the music. Even that seems to be suffering of late.
haven't heard it in a long time. nice! :) :) :)
:p That is such a funny song. Perfect for Friday afternoon at work.
Great song... made me laugh
almost as bad as the original.
Maybe those Catholic Sundays as a child would have been a lot different
I'm a Christian and I love this song. It doesn't offend me in the least. It's very funny and it's edgier and rocks compared to Joan's version. Which I thought was kindof wimpy! Cool song Bill. I gave it a 9 because it made me laugh. Whether He smokes cannibas or not I think even God would find this funny. :D
These guys have made a bunch of hilarious songs, and what amazes me most is how good they are at finding singers that sound a lot like the original artists, like Alanis Morrisette, Cris Cornell etc.
God, is this song ever dumb!
She\'s gotta run out of one liners soon. Dot
If I say I like this will I go to hell?
Even with different lyrics, this song is equally annoying.
Worst thing I\'ve ever heard on RP, and the first time I can remember just turning off the player for a while. In reading the comments, I do have to laugh at the (many) people saying \"lighten up\" based on 1 or 2 comments ... kind of ironic I think.
Originally Posted by lily33: .idealist, you really do need to lighten up, francis.......and light up while you're at it.
ROFLMAO Good one, Lily! :D ;)
Can\'t remember actually wanting to hear a joke song more than once. Funny, tho. And funny how the actual message is identical in both versions.
Originally Posted by the_jake: I can't believe I missed this song again. That will teach me to walk away from RP.
Finally got to hear this one. Very funny.
I hated the Joan Osborne song. Very lame lyrics that got way overhyped. Halleluja for this little ditty!
I\'m biased in favor of this guy\'s work since he and I crossed paths at a college radio station in Connecticut (WNHU 88.7 FM), way back when. Bob has recorded some very funny things over the years. Even as a young punk he had a presence and obvious talent.
Who would have thought this song would have created so much controversy?! I think both sides need to lighten up a bit. The song is a joke. Literally! It\'s not a great artistic endeavor, it\'s just a goof. Like any joke, not everyone will find it funny. And I don\'t think it demonstrates any lack of disrespect for Joan - after all it\'s mostly her work, there\'s just a twist on it, which is the joke. Of course like any joke, it\'s only funny the first time or two you hear it...
I can\'t believe I missed this song again. That will teach me to walk away from RP.
Cute the first couple of times - less than entertaining now. Time to drop it from the regular play list. :roll:
I wasn\'t too fond of the original. This is kinda funny.
I\'m sorry but this was just juvenile.
Originally Posted by yellowdog: Gross! This stinks! Please. Poor Joan.
Poor Joan? Would ya believe she didn't write the original - her guitarist did - and she didn't want to put the song on the album. She didn't really like the song. Her producer talked (forced?) her into it.
Idealist, parody is an art form in and of itself. Take Wierd Al, for example. He, his band, and the engineers who record and mix his music go to great lengths to mimic the original song - they don\'t just \"rip out the vocal track\" and record their own. They perform the entire song. What\'s the old cliche... Imitation is the highest form of flattery? Furthermore, Weird Al always gets permission from the original song\'s writer/performer before parodying it (though legally he doesn\'t need to - parody is protected under copyright law). And Most artists are quite amused and honored when Al parodies one of their songs.
Gross! This stinks! Please. Poor Joan.
as if the original song wasn\'t bad enough. now this. this is perfect for \"wild and crazy\" morning radio shows. RP is above this.
Too funny! I wasn\'t paying attention in the beginning. Thought this was just a serious cover of the original, then I stared listening to the words. Thanks for the laugh!