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Patty Griffin — Goodbye
Album: Flaming Red
Avg rating:
7.5

Your rating:
Total ratings: 1759









Released: 1998
Length: 4:05
Plays (last 30 days): 0
Occurred to me the other day
You've been gone now a couple years
Well, I guess it takes a while
For someone to really disappear

And I remember where I was
When the word came about you
It was a day much like today
The sky was bright and wide and blue

And I wonder where you are
And if the pain ends when you die
And I wonder if there was
Some better way to say goodbye

Today my heart is big and sore
It's trying to push right through my skin
Won't see you any more
I guess that's finally sinking in

'Cause you can't make somebody see
With the simple words you say
All their beauty from within
Sometimes they just look away

And I wonder where you are
And if the pain ends when you die
And I wonder if there was
Some better way to say goodbye
Some better way to say goodbye
Comments (249)add comment
Catey, I’m sorry.
Patty is always a nice choice. She's so honest.
Flaming Red is a gem. It blew me away the first time I played it through.
This song.  It is so much more.  I am always totalled by hearing it, because of those I miss - and because someone finally found a way to express grief in a way that is exactly how I felt, feel -  I could never find the words.  Thank you.
this will now always make me think of my father who passed a few days before christmas this past year. 
 Typesbad wrote:

This and Long Black Limousine are two of the most powerful songs about the death of a loved one I know.  And Patty recorded both of them.  Makes me almost afraid to see her in concert.


Written in a spirit of helpfulness ...

Ms Griffin's song is Long Ride Home, and it is indeed sad.

Long Black Limousine is a much older song, covered by Merle Haggard and Elvis among others, about the same subject: " ... Well I never, I never, never, never ... oh my heart, all my dreams, they're with you In that long black limousine."
I rate this a 10. Every time it comes on it reminds me to think happily of my mom and dad.
 Highlowsel wrote:

A very poignant tune, recalling a loved one who's moved on. 

But don't be too sad, for too long.  We are all channelized energy, a fraction of infinite energy contained within a finite vessel.  Look around.  It's that way for every living thing. 

Look up at the night-time sky and see the underbelly of infinity that is the greater Universe.  You cannot see this and not tell me that though the container withers and fails that the energy it contains doesn't go out there onward forever; to dream new dreams in new places and times.  Energy never ends; it never fails, it merely transforms. 

You will meet your loved ones again, as you have before.  It all goes on forever folks.  Forever.  This is the Creators gift to all life; an infinite playground.  So don't be sad.   

Highlow
American Net'Zen


And you get all that from Patty Griffin?  Wow.
 timmus wrote:

From the Flaming Red album, 1998.  The album description gets three sentences on Wikipedia.  Yet Kanye West's debut album gets pages and pages of content.  Sigh.



oh I thought it was just Ye now.. 
 eileenomurphy wrote:

Nice tune! I never heard of her before. ...Thank You RP!

If you like this, you should look into her body of work. It's not all sad stuff - when she wants to, she can rock your face clean off.

Matters not where you start - every disc has gems like this one.
Best,
c.

Such a fantastic song. The live version is even better. 
Yes. Today, hours ago, my last surviving immediate family passed on, unconscious but really alive.  87 years, and having valiantly resisted a pernicious cancer for two years, on a two month prognosis.  Farewell, Aunt Betty.  And Patty, what a magnificent song and voice. 
I'd like to tell you merci as a frenchie as i'am   alors merci à tous    thank you all ;)
 Typesbad wrote:

This and Long Black Limousine are two of the most powerful songs about the death of a loved one I know.  And Patty recorded both of them.  Makes me almost afraid to see her in concert.




Saw her a few years ago in concert.  She stopped the set at one point and said that she was mandated to play one happy song per concert.  And then she did.
 bam23 wrote:

I know of no other piece of music that hits me like this does. And reading through the comments, this seems to be the modal response. I still remember buying the live version of this while attending a meeting in Asheville, North Carolina, then driving in the mountains while listening, and absorbing the beauty and loss reflected in the combination of music and words. Listening to a song can do this and I still recall the experience more than a decade later. Yet, maybe it's best to limit these experiences.


When her album American Kid came out a few years ago, it hit me hard.  The album is basically a tribute to her father who had recently passed away.  I went out to my garage with a six pack of beer and put the album on repeat and spent most of the night there listening to it over and over.  I wept uncontrollably to "Go where ever you wanna go", "Not a bad man", and "I'm going to miss you when you're gone", knowing that I will someday have to experience losing my father.  Many of her songs hit me that way.  
 ddbz wrote:

I know this song is about loosing a romantic love, but the line "I guess it takes a while for someone to really disappear" is quite the meditation when you apply it to non-romantic people you've lost.

thx patty.....and once again I could never see her live because I would just stand there and cry.  Absolutely Phabulous


It's actually about Jeff Buckley. A beautiful talent gone far too soon. Just like his father Tim. Tragic. Which is why I mentioned Jeff's album 'Grace' below. Several heartbreakers on that disc too.

But yes, there aren't many dry eyes at PG shows.
c.
I know this song is about loosing a romantic love, but the line "I guess it takes a while for someone to really disappear" is quite the meditation when you apply it to non-romantic people you've lost.

thx patty.....and once again I could never see her live because I would just stand there and cry.  Absolutely Phabulous
I try to limit my 10s, but this one...
Dammit, now I have to go out to the workshop and put on 'Grace'. Loud.
c.
"And I remember where I was
When the word came about you
It was a day much like today
The sky was bright and wide and blue

And I wonder where you are
And if the pain ends when you die
And I wonder if there was
Some better way to say goodbye

Today my heart is big and sore
It's trying to push right through my skin
Won't see you any more
I guess that's finally sinking in"

— Patty Griffin, Goodbye

Amen and selah.
I know of no other piece of music that hits me like this does. And reading through the comments, this seems to be the modal response. I still remember buying the live version of this while attending a meeting in Asheville, North Carolina, then driving in the mountains while listening, and absorbing the beauty and loss reflected in the combination of music and words. Listening to a song can do this and I still recall the experience more than a decade later. Yet, maybe it's best to limit these experiences.
This and Long Black Limousine are two of the most powerful songs about the death of a loved one I know.  And Patty recorded both of them.  Makes me almost afraid to see her in concert.
Glenn, brother. Wish you could see your beautiful daughters
Nice tune! I never heard of her before. ...Thank You RP!
 LaurieinTucson wrote:

wishful thinking
energy is measurable 
it dissipates into the environment as you assume room temperature 
human beans need to grow up, stop believing in Santa Claus, and value the time that is 
     given to us now
instead of deluding ourselves that everything will be alright, or better, AFTER we die
we are the only species that we know of that is aware of our own mortality 
aware, but having trouble accepting it
so we invented religion


Neti, neti
 Highlowsel wrote:

A very poignant tune, recalling a loved one who's moved on. 

But don't be too sad, for too long.  We are all channelized energy, a fraction of infinite energy contained within a finite vessel.  Look around.  It's that way for every living thing. 

Look up at the night-time sky and see the underbelly of infinity that is the greater Universe.  You cannot see this and not tell me that though the container withers and fails that the energy it contains doesn't go out there onward forever; to dream new dreams in new places and times.  Energy never ends; it never fails, it merely transforms. 

You will meet your loved ones again, as you have before.  It all goes on forever folks.  Forever.  This is the Creators gift to all life; an infinite playground.  So don't be sad.   

Highlow
American Net'Zen

Neti, Neti

pierces me every time,  revives the hurt I want to feel again, to remember....best discovery on RP ever for me, cheers Bill.
 jnesser wrote:

This woman knows how to get to your emotions (in almost every song of hers)....
Every time I hear this, I cry.




Crying at work. Dag nab it.
Lost my best friend of 57 years almost 2 months ago and I still wonder where she is but have to believe that pain ends when we die. Our pain continues without all those we've loved and lost so I also want to believe we cannot have been allowed to love them so dearly and lose them forever. So I read all your comments and cried for you all and will continue to have hope for us all.
Amazing album.
Stops me in my tracks every time....thanks Patty -for keeping what's important on top.
 Highlowsel wrote:
A very poignant tune, recalling a loved one who's moved on. 

But don't be too sad, for too long.  We are all channelized energy, a fraction of infinite energy contained within a finite vessel.  Look around.  It's that way for every living thing. 

Look up at the night-time sky and see the underbelly of infinity that is the greater Universe.  You cannot see this and not tell me that though the container withers and fails that the energy it contains doesn't go out there onward forever; to dream new dreams in new places and times.  Energy never ends; it never fails, it merely transforms. 

You will meet your loved ones again, as you have before.  It all goes on forever folks.  Forever.  This is the Creators gift to all life; an infinite playground.  So don't be sad.   

Highlow
American Net'Zen
 
wishful thinking
energy is measurable 
it dissipates into the environment as you assume room temperature 
human beans need to grow up, stop believing in Santa Claus, and value the time that is 
     given to us now
instead of deluding ourselves that everything will be alright, or better, AFTER we die
we are the only species that we know of that is aware of our own mortality 
aware, but having trouble accepting it
so we invented religion
No one does heartbreak and loss like Patty.  Sweet, sad, and sublime.  
 Tippster wrote:

I know I can't.  Miss you Mom and Dad.
 

Me too, though I can't remember what they looked; I was only 20 months old when their plane crashed. As the youngest of seven, some call me the lucky one...
Big John. Miss you, still, friend. Your pain indeed, ended. (John was part of a 3-man umpire crew with Peter and I, working semi-pro ball in southern Ontario for most of the decade of the '90s. Once we lost him to that fucking cancer, Peter and I hung 'em up after a dozen games or so. Just couldn't work without him.)
 Skydog wrote:
reading the comments and thinking that the day will come
.
my wife has MS and not doing so good
 
 
I'm sorry
 zepher wrote:
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

.... Heaven is a better place

Amen
 

 Highlowsel wrote:
A very poignant tune, recalling a loved one who's moved on. 

But don't be too sad, for too long.  We are all channelized energy, a fraction of infinite energy contained within a finite vessel.  Look around.  It's that way for every living thing. 

Look up at the night-time sky and see the underbelly of infinity that is the greater Universe.  You cannot see this and not tell me that though the container withers and fails that the energy it contains doesn't go out there onward forever; to dream new dreams in new places and times.  Energy never ends; it never fails, it merely transforms. 

You will meet your loved ones again, as you have before.  It all goes on forever folks.  Forever.  This is the Creators gift to all life; an infinite playground.  So don't be sad.   

Highlow
American Net'Zen
 
And a very poignant response. Thank you for sharing - know that those words touched me and I will share them in times of need to console others in my life.
 Stefen wrote:


Perhaps you can write and submit something.

 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flaming_Red

Because Radio Paradise ;-) !
 timmus wrote:
From the Flaming Red album, 1998.  The album description gets three sentences on Wikipedia.  Yet Kanye West's debut album gets pages and pages of content.  Sigh.

 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flaming_Red

Because RP
A very poignant tune, recalling a loved one who's moved on. 

But don't be too sad, for too long.  We are all channelized energy, a fraction of infinite energy contained within a finite vessel.  Look around.  It's that way for every living thing. 

Look up at the night-time sky and see the underbelly of infinity that is the greater Universe.  You cannot see this and not tell me that though the container withers and fails that the energy it contains doesn't go out there onward forever; to dream new dreams in new places and times.  Energy never ends; it never fails, it merely transforms. 

You will meet your loved ones again, as you have before.  It all goes on forever folks.  Forever.  This is the Creators gift to all life; an infinite playground.  So don't be sad.   

Highlow
American Net'Zen
 timmus wrote:
From the Flaming Red album, 1998.  The album description gets three sentences on Wikipedia.  Yet Kanye West's debut album gets pages and pages of content.  Sigh.

 

Perhaps you can write and submit something.
From the Flaming Red album, 1998.  The album description gets three sentences on Wikipedia.  Yet Kanye West's debut album gets pages and pages of content.  Sigh.
I wish I had had the chance grandpa. I'm sorry.
This woman knows how to get to your emotions (in almost every song of hers)....
Every time I hear this, I cry.
I say it every time.  This song completely paralyzes me.  OMG I miss them all so much. <3
 leafmold wrote:
I wonder if I can ever hear this song without crying....

 
I never can.
 leafmold wrote:
I wonder if I can ever hear this song without crying....

 
I know I can't.  Miss you Mom and Dad.
Okay; group HUG now!?  {#Group-hug}
Beautiful 
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

.... Heaven is a better place


reading the comments and thinking that the day will come
.
my wife has MS and not doing so good
 
I wonder if I can ever hear this song without crying....
David Bowie died yesterday, and this song is so beautiful and sad... Think to all people that i loved...
 cementfloor wrote:
I am incapable of listening to this song without stopping whatever I am doing and tearing up.  Patty just cuts down to the bone.

 
Happens every time.  Have to close the office door and wait for the eyes to dry up.


You don't need to have lost someone close to you to feel and hear the beauty in Patty's song. But if you have, and whether or not it was sudden, unexpected or perhaps unspeakably tragic, this song is at once painful and healing to listen to. Bless this woman's gifts and artistry.
Hits home every time I hear it. My ex-wife, battled like hell, 10 years, before cancer took her down a couple of years ago. She deserved a better life, a happier life. Always makes me sad beyond words.
Used to think she was generic New Country - I was wrong.
Wistful.
 MsJudi wrote:
I can't help it, but this song, which I discovered on RP, reminds me of our two RPeeps who have passed on from this world. Cy, Melissa, this one's for you.

 
You are not alone, Judi.
 Webfoot wrote:
Okay everyone, stop crying and get back to work.

 
yes sir — {#Cry}
I love this song, but love the Live version more.
 cementfloor wrote:
I am incapable of listening to this song without stopping whatever I am doing and tearing up.  Patty just cuts down to the bone.

 
Yes indeed. Gets me every time. There is a live version too, rougher around the edges, which suits Jeff even better.
Okay everyone, stop crying and get back to work.
God I love this song.
I am incapable of listening to this song without stopping whatever I am doing and tearing up.  Patty just cuts down to the bone.
Patty NEVER gets old......
 hamer12string wrote:
I have RP to thank for turning me on to so many things - perhaps most precious among them Ms. Griffin.

 
Ditto
 hamer12string wrote:
I have RP to thank for turning me on to so many things - perhaps most precious among them Ms. Griffin.


Well said.
I never, ever tire of this. Great lyricist, fantastic voice.
Anyone who can write a song like this and sing it with such sincere emotion is OK by me.
I have RP to thank for turning me on to so many things - perhaps most precious among them Ms. Griffin.
I can't help it, but this song, which I discovered on RP, reminds me of our two RPeeps who have passed on from this world. Cy, Melissa, this one's for you.
Patty Griffin gets added to my feminine "Great gifts to American Music" list, along with the Great Emmylou Harris, Joni Mitchell and Laura Nyro, and more.
Just changed my rating to a 10. This song reminds me of several lost friends,and mistakes made.  And her voice is timeless.
 Imkirok wrote:

I had a cousin who committed suicide 25 years ago.  We were best friends growing up but weren't on the best terms when he died.  Every time Patty sings "I wish there was a better way to say goodbye", I start crying too.
 
Makes me cry too. This is a great album. Tony never gets played and is an equally great song.
Patty is playing at the free concert Hardly Strictly Bluegrass in SF this Saturday at 3:50 PM!
The sentiment is indeed beautiful, and I can understand why so many listeners felt touched by it.  The break in her voice when she hits the high notes just rubs me the wrong way.
 casey1024 wrote:
stops me every time.  crying at my desk, again.
 
I had a cousin who committed suicide 25 years ago.  We were best friends growing up but weren't on the best terms when he died.  Every time Patty sings "I wish there was a better way to say goodbye", I start crying too.
I wasn't about to give this song much attention until I started reading the comments of you beautiful people, thank you
stops me every time.  crying at my desk, again.
 lily34 wrote:
gotta stop and listen. indeed.
 
A lot of Patty's tunes do that to me.  Just need to listen.
gotta stop and listen. indeed.
When ever this song comes on, I just have to stop what I'm doing and just listen
 govna wrote:
Patty is god.
  We could do worse.


Today, this song is for my cousin Barbara. {#Sad}
I heard a rumour that Patty and Robert Plant have married.... lucky guy!
 
It's a beautiful, sad song.
 cc_rider wrote:
... because it's about Jeff Buckley.
 
I thought Bill said it was about Gram Parsons.
Jeff Buckley makes more sense. He and Patty were contemporaries, whereas Gram died when Patty was about 10.
Jeff died in 1997, this album was released in 1998, and a line in the song says, "you've been gone now couple years". 

Regardless, this is one of the most emotionally evocative songs ever. 




(Edit Oct 26/11: The song I was confused about is The Road by Emmylou Harris. THAT one is about Gram Parsons)

 misterimpatient wrote:
Sends a chill every time I hear it. 
 

Couldn't have said it better.
The live version is something to behold . . .
 Webfoot wrote:
But the sentiment also transends any one person and goes straight to the heart of human experience.  At least for me it does.
  Absolutely agree. Anyone, anywhere, who has suffered a loss, particularly a tragic one, can relate to the heartbreak so clearly voiced in this song.


an almost perfect song.
Sends a chill every time I hear it. 
It's about Jeff...it's about you, me, your parents, your sick friend you just couldn't get through to...
 cc_rider wrote:
Yes it is the voice, but it also makes me cry because it's about Jeff Buckley. Jeff Buckley's 'Grace' is still one of my all-time favorite albums, even though I simply cannot listen to it very often, it is so emotionally wrenching to me. Thinking about him, the way he died so tragically, the way his father died so tragically.

But yes, Patty Griffin's voice absolutely sends me to another place.
 

But the sentiment also transends any one person and goes straight to the heart of human experience.  At least for me it does.
 cc_rider wrote:
Yes it is the voice, but it also makes me cry because it's about Jeff Buckley.
 
Thanks for this. I didn't know it was about Buckley. The song gives me chills with every listen.
 dkeifer wrote:
I heard this song for the first time over 4 years ago and it still makes me cry....it's that voice.....
  Yes it is the voice, but it also makes me cry because it's about Jeff Buckley. Jeff Buckley's 'Grace' is still one of my all-time favorite albums, even though I simply cannot listen to it very often, it is so emotionally wrenching to me. Thinking about him, the way he died so tragically, the way his father died so tragically.

But yes, Patty Griffin's voice absolutely sends me to another place.


 RobRyan wrote:
She is such an amazing talent. The emotion she is able to communicate is incredible. With one exception (One Big Love, in my opinion a "throwaway song") I invariably stop what I'm doing to listen.
  Yep.


...i am such a sucker for pachelbel's canon, every single time it just sucks me in...
She is such an amazing talent. The emotion she is able to communicate is incredible. With one exception (One Big Love, in my opinion a "throwaway song") I invariably stop what I'm doing to listen.
 Pyro wrote:
I am drawn to Patty's lyrics and voice like a moth to a flame. I had never heard of her prior to RP. GOD I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!!!!
 
Decided to drag out a comment from years back. It echoes my sentiments, completely.
Not bad!
 cc_rider wrote:
9? I gave this a 9? What the frack is wrong with me? 10.
 

yeah, what the frack IS wrong with you? {#Eh}  it's only about a 23.
9>10
I love it
Peace, Rick. We miss you.

I hate how this song always gets me
Every time I hear this song I get goosebumps, in a good way! A 10{#Clap}


On the aniversary of my Father-in-Law's death.  Poignant.  Love it...sniff....sniff {#Cry}
I was singing this song earlier today.  There are no coincidences.
9? I gave this a 9? What the frack is wrong with me? 10.
Patty comes to my town next month while I am traveling for vacation - Ouch.  Guess I have to buy the A Kiss In Time CD. 

Patty, please return to Solana Beach.
 casey1024 wrote:
I hope the pain ended for you, Deb.
 
Peace.

I hope the pain ended for you, Deb.
I wish you guys would quit playing this dang song. I feel like a dork sitting at my desk at work all misty eyed. Geez, Louise...
Thanks for playing this Bill!
 ericconrad wrote:
WOW, what a song.  This may be my favorite Patty Griffin song, and that is a bold statement.
 
Have to agree... and it gives me chills Every Damn Time I hear it.


Agonizingly beautiful.  .  .

{#Cry}

WOW, what a song.  This may be my favorite Patty Griffin song, and that is a bold statement.
OMG! This song gives me goose bumps.

Nice set Bill.