Hi, I'm your new personal digital assistant and offer a maximum in user friendliness for a seamless digital experience.
If you don't use me, I can get pretty nasty. 

mother set in my room and kept her hand on my forred until i went to sleep. i drempt i was fiting all the time. when i get big enuf there is going to be a fite between me and old Francis, you see if there aint.

Anyhow we can't seem to account for some tweezers and we gotta go back in. Sorry, but it could get uncomfortable. You're out of gas unless you have one of them there hybrid models that run on blood money...

 winter wrote:
Dude
 

never let the clouds outshine the sun. never grant a spider more strength than her web. never seek the martyr's veil.

who walks with others need never be far from home. who walks with purpose is never lost, no matter how winding the path.

be to others as her shell to the tortoise and her sky to the hawk.

sometimes vacuum sounds like having the wind knocked out. Sometimes it sounds like preconception blowing through bare trees. Sometimes it sounds like traffic and footsteps.
As often, it sounds like a dance between tinnitus and the ocean flushing.

Learn all you can. Love all you can. Wake up tomorrow and do it again. 
Amen

oh yeah? Well I'd just like to take 2024 erections and stick them all precisely where the sun don't shine!
Just you just watch just for a just a second...
Uh oh. Wait
ELECTIONS!
my bad
as you were!

Delirium Lumens

some Goya this way, some Goya that
some Goya light a dark room while
crowned with a stylish candle hat...

430

 GeneP59 wrote:

Next time wear your ruby slippers and click your heels three times first. Then head over to The Lullaby League Lounge and busk a move...

I spun around 3 times but I was still there.  

It's about time
It's about space
It's about sugar water for the human race

The harder they are the bigger they fall...

 winter wrote:

Says you!

Conch conch!
 
Yes? Who is it?
 
A giant hungry crab!
 
ah yes. Whelkome. We've been expectantly
dissecting you!
 
But wait! Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?
 
Why yes! Yes it is! How observant. Here. Sit a spell. 

Aerodynamics

I'll wager a railroad penny Abe Lincoln's ghost is haunting a log cabin somewhere in Kentucky. Probably got a mule and a goat or two opaquely wondering around the vicinity. Maybe some laying hens. I think there might be ducks. Definitely no free range chickens. Dude living across the road in the boarded up Sinclair station keeps all the killing chickens. There's no gas to pump but he does sell buffaloed wings by the bucket list and gumball/novelty machine refills by the case, cart, truck, or freight car. The joint is like a big chicken coop with a dinosaur sign out front. 

If you figure that one out just dial 1-800-MANBIRD and ask for a guy named Cletus. He will take care of you from there. If he's out frog gigging and it goes to voicemail, channel your best 
Kermit and sing him a lullaby followed by a stork or pelican joke. .

P.S. Vote no for cream corn.  Also, stow your bird when not in use. It'll make sense later. Everything will.

C'mon! It's just words! 

the first woman to float an apple in a flagon of tea was Celia d'Crickette, an earthworm-tamer and derogatrix from Oregon.

in case of emergency, break glass, stop bleeding, treat cuts, and rethink life.