I have never met Olivia, but I feel compelled to speak out about an issue that is so obviously prevalent at Penn (as well as other universities and institutions across the nation). I feel as though remaining silent makes me culpable, as passivity does not lead to change but rather perpetuates the problem. 11 suicides in 3 years. Heartbreaking. A pattern that sheds light on a deadly phenomenon occurring on our very own campus.

In my almost 2 years at Penn, I have become quite aware of “Penn-Face”—a term that now labels the deceptive façade that students put on daily to conceal all perceived imperfections. “Everything is fine!” “I’m doing great, how about you?” “Yeah I go out and still do well in my classes. Doesn’t everyone?” We as a community are, to an extent, responsible for perpetuating this culture of apparent perfection. Showing weakness or inadequacy is shunned, even if only internally. Talking about this—acknowledging it for the problem that it is—is a step in the right direction.

But we are not entirely to blame for this culture. I am profoundly disappointed in the actions of the administration here at Penn. Why, when I read the announcement of her passing, did I immediately panic and have to search the internet to see if I personally knew this nameless junior? Why, when I read the 6abc article that identified her as Olivia Kong, did I feel immense relief followed by intense guilt and self-hatred for being happy that she wasn’t someone I knew personally? Why, in a separate email sent to Wharton, was this tragic suicide described as an “accident?” Why have 24 hours passed without any amendment to this statement? Why did my professor ask us how we were doing this morning and then, in response to the class’s stony silence, make a joke about the stormy weather affecting our moods (yet make no mention of Olivia)? Why are school activities continuing normally as though no tragedy has occurred? As though another suicide is just part of the norm here?

Why, more generally, are professors banned from teaching classes if they give out too many A’s? Why are students expected to sacrifice sleep and health for grades? Why is it no longer shocking to hear that someone hasn’t slept for more than 3 hours in a night for 2 weeks or more? Why must the waiting room in CAPS be a completely open space where eye-contact between friends and peers must actively be avoided? Why to even get an appointment do you need to empty your heart and soul to a nameless voice on the other end of a phone-call? Why do we not have access to long-term counseling on campus? Why, at CAPS, are the only psychologists available on short-term rotation so that once you’ve established a relationship with them, they leave? Why are the only long-term therapy options available located in Center City for a weekly $30 copay (assuming your health insurance even covers it)?

I have so many questions and have no idea where to go to have them answered. But I am tired. I am tired of remaining silent while I watch my friends and classmates continue to suffer. I am tired of hearing of new programs and surveys that do nothing to actually initiate positive change. I am tired of internalizing my anger and sadness and pretending that everything is fine. Everything is NOT fine and it is time that both the students and administration of Penn DO something about it. We CANNOT afford to wait until another student takes his or her life. We cannot passively wait for change to occur. We must take it into our own hands to address a systemic issue that we face every day, and the first step is speaking up and reaching out. Hug your friends. Tell them how much you care about them, how much you love them, how invaluable they are. Let this newest death be a wakeup call that will prevent another student from taking his or her own life.

To Amy Gutmann and the rest of our administration here at Penn: stop ignoring the problem. Nobody is saying that the culture we have here is the sole cause of depression and suicide, but it is certainly a contributing factor that can lead to an irrevocable tipping point. Stop glossing over it in emails, statements, and programs that are meant to placate and not to fix. The cost is too great.

Rest in peace Olivia.