20 October 2008

This is my second attempt to write this down and make it suitable for sharing.  A reflection on the first one.  And it is the second installment in my journal of this experience. 

Fact of the matter, there is no warm and fuzzy way to tell anyone that you have cancer.  And to make you type the word as well.  But it is what it is.

Aram tells me that the best sound engineers get it.   That's one hell of an endorsement.

I'm not looking back for explanations, just looking forward to putting this behind me.  It's not "oh, woe is me", I'm more like it just sucks to be me right now.

I have been humbled and learned to accept kindness and hugs from others.  I usually just want to show up and do my thing and go home and help others when ever I can.  Never look for anything in return, just to help because I can and build up good Karma.  So this is a whole new world of care and emotions to deal with. 

But, yep its Mantle Cell Lymphoma, a rare little buggy that makes up only 6% of Non-Hodgkin's types.  Caught it early and I live in Cleveland, so I have that going for me.   Biopsy 26 September and check in for inpatient Chemo this coming Monday 27 October.  Shit's been moving real fast.  Some teeth out in the morning.  Bone Marrow Tap done last Friday and out of the way.  Chemo port to be installed Friday, a dual lumina, (WOOT!) got some heavy duty shit coming at me.  5 days of inpatient chemo every 21 days for 6 cycles.  Then a stem cell or bone marrow transfer, if the chemo succeeds.

I'm OK with it so far, got no choice, but the wife ain't taking it so well.  It's usually easier to be the patient than the caregiver.  Some of you already know, but I didn't want to share it till I knew exactly what it was and what was in store for me.  So if you have noticed some unusually twisted arguments from me over in the other side this past summer, then I'm using this as my reason.  If you thought my stuff normal, then never mind.

Be TCB the rest of the week. Computer lock for the laptop, no Internet, but I can watch DVD's and remaster music.  Been eating like a horse cause they say if you still have an appetite, then you damn well better use it cause food is gonna be a whole new world after I start this stuff.

So I will take all the hugs and prayers I can get, but my wife Patty, needs them more than I do.

So thanks for listening, I'll be around and check in and probably put up some songs for download as I got a little more than normal free time now.

And if anyone knows of cookbooks for Chemo Mouth, let me know.